Ready

On the way to the wedding day, and finally packed a large bulk of my stuff. I am getting ready to plunge into a new beginning. It is so strange how everything I was once looking so forward to, has finally come. A new school to teach in, a new house to live in, with somebody. My heart can be pounding really hard at times, when I ask myself, “how can i?” How can I do all these things that are just an inch ahead of me? And how am I going to do them? I looked back with so much agony that I had gone through just to live the Singapore dream. My sweat, my tears and the encapsulation of my life experiences had actually brought me this far to begin a teaching career in pioneer jc as the only art teacher around. Hungry I can be, hungry for new things, yet hungry for a momentum which I won’t get tipped off balance. It is back to work in the seemingly real world again, the treachery of an overloaded timetable and the whole game of being acquainted with new colleagues again. The retreat last Sat showed me the grace of God. God had gone this far to prepare the ground for me. Soft and fertile, I know this is a springboard for me to jump once again. A teacher who can drop bits of life into other’ lives, and to be a missionary at this workplace. How I long to be in that position! Do what I am best in. That perhaps is beyond teaching. Could I ever?

I will run to you

Your eye is on the sparrow
And Your hand, it comforts me
From the ends of the Earth to the depth of my heart
Let Your mercy and strength be seen

You call me to Your purpose
As angels understand
For Your glory, may You draw all men
As Your love and grace demand

And I will run to You
To Your words of truth
Not by might, not by power
But by the spirit of God
Yes I will run the race
'Till I see Your face
Oh let me live in the glory of Your grace

Abandon

V1
For God my heart will sing
For God my heart will pray
For God my heart will glorify
Abandon my all

V2
For God my heart will praise
For God my heart will cry
For God my heart will magnify
Abandon to you

C
Abandon, oh abandon
Abandon to surrender
Abandon to my Lord Jesus
My all to you

Abandon, oh abandon
Abandon to surrender
Abandon to my Lord Jesus
My all to you

Lesson for the heart

It has been this long since I last felt a wrench in my heart. It was songs that moved me last night. heartfelt godly songs from my brothers, that of bleeding lyrics and desperate cries -- the irrepressible energy which could only be divine. I needed to be touched and comforted once again, for times had been of disappointment and humility when I have to put others before myself. The throwing away of the usual self-glorification to look at and look out for others. the self-importance that crowns me must go.

This is a lesson for the heart where tears become invisible, where speaking to God can be fearful, deliberated and too shy. But this is too, my cry in the darkest of nights. This loneliness, has bothered me. At any cost, I must give back my heart to God.
In my thoughts offered to God,
abandon became the key to unlock the locked floods of emotions:

Abandon

For God, my heart will sing.
For God, my heart will pray.
For God, my heart will glorify.
Abandon is my devotion.

For God, my heart will praise.
For God, my heart will cry.
For God, my heart will magnify.
Abandon is my conviction.

Chorus
Abandon oh abandon, abandon to surrender.
Abandon to my Lord Jesus
(to be contd)