Feeling torn

After coming back from MAPFest 2015, I spent the day feeling torn.
I don't know why.
It gnaws at my soul.

We met again today

I cried when I saw you again,
I haven't for a long time.

Seeing you raked up the past with the things we did together.

I could remember so vividly how, why and when we were even there doing what we did,
The happiness of memories we have shared together.
Everything was new but was worth having it with you.

My heart is aching now, just looking at the images of us, our actions and movements and our together,
I wish they can still be done again.

Just you and me, connected by just you and me.
Without a care for the world,
With only our love for art.

You lived the love out and I love the life you lived
You love me for who I am, inside out.
I will never have someone like you again in my life.

I have missed you and I didn't know it is so bad.
I don't think this missing will ever be over,
And I am surviving on so little.

It hurts even to say, come back.

We barely knew.

You Know - Liyana Fizi

Just a quick smile
The Curve of your lips
And I'm over the moon
Just a small sign
A glimpse of your heart
You know I'm sold for good

I don't care where this goes
All that matters is that
You know

It's another kind of high
That I get from you
I don't even need to try
I am where I want to be
This time
You got me for life

Just the thought of us
Sitting so quietly
Where we don't need to say a thing
Coz all that matters is that
We know

It's another kind of high
That I get from you
I don't even need to try
I am where I want to be
This time
You got me for life

You can set my world on fire
Love
So you've got me for life
You're my northern star

It's another kind of high
That I get from you
I don't even need to try
I am where I want to be
This time
You got me for life
You got me for life
You got me for life

Fly

“I have come to accept the feeling of not knowing where I am going. And I have trained myself to love it. Because it is only when we are suspended in mid-air with no landing in sight, that we force our wings to unravel and alas begin our flight. And as we fly, we still may not know where we are going to. But the miracle is in the unfolding of the wings. You may not know where you're going, but you know that so long as you spread your wings, the winds will carry you.”

― C. JoyBell C.

Never Once I Matt Redman

"Never Once"





Standing on this mountaintop

Looking just how far we’ve come

Knowing that for every step

You were with us


Kneeling on this battle ground

Scars and struggles on the way

Never once did we ever walk alone

Kneeling on this battle ground

Scars and struggles on the way

Never once did we ever walk alone

Scars and struggles on the way

Never once did we ever walk alone

Every step we are breathing in Your grace

You are faithful, God, You are faithful




Seeing just how much You’ve done

Knowing every victory

Was Your power in us


But with joy our hearts can say

Yes, our hearts can say


Never once did You leave us on our own

You are faithful, God, You are faithful


Seeing just how much You’ve done

Knowing every victory

Was Your power in us


But with joy our hearts can say

Yes, our hearts can say


Never once did You leave us on our own

You are faithful, God, You are faithful

You are faithful, God, You are faithful


But with joy our hearts can say

Never once did we ever walk alone

Carried by Your constant grace

Held within Your perfect peace

Never once, no, we never walk alone


Never once did You leave us on our own

You are faithful, God, You are faithful


Evermore we’ll be breathing out Your praise

You are faithful, God, You are faithful

You are faithful, God, You are faithful


You are faithful, God, You are faithful

BOTH SIDES NOW- Cloud by Joni Mitchell for Julie

Rows and flows of angel hair
And ice cream castles in the air
And feather canyons everywhere,
I've looked at clouds that way.

But now they only block the sun,
They rain and snow on everyone
So many things I would have done,
But clouds got in my way.

I've looked at clouds from both sides now
From up and down and still somehow
It's cloud's illusions I recall
I really don't know clouds at all

Moons and Junes and Ferris wheels,
The dizzy dancing way that you feel
As every fairy tale comes real,
I've looked at love that way.

But now it's just another show,
You leave 'em laughing when you go
And if you care, don't let them know,
Don't give yourself away.

I've looked at love from both sides now
From give and take and still somehow
It's love's illusions I recall
I really don't know love at all

Tears and fears and feeling proud,
To say "I love you" right out loud
Dreams and schemes and circus crowds,
I've looked at life that way.

Oh but now old friends they're acting strange,
They shake their heads, they say I've changed
Well something's lost, but something's gained
In living every day.

I've looked at life from both sides now
From win and lose and still somehow
It's life's illusions I recall
I really don't know life at all

I've looked at life from both sides now
From up and down, and still somehow
It's life's illusions I recall
I really don't know life at all

Goodbye Julie, you bade farewell to the world at 12 noon 27 Aug 2014

“Even castles in the sky can do with a fresh coat of paint.”

― Haruki Murakami, South of the Border, West of the Sun

93 Degrees

Honey Peach Winter Lemon 

two cups' a destiny.

Dreaming

I was dreaming of a time when I was sad It was not too long ago The heart weighed heavy I was dreaming of a time when it was bad It was yesterday The mind thought so Dreaming is relieving Where warm is not too cold For me, dreaming of you

Damaged

Take a picture of yourself
A world where no one else
Imagines you were there
And you start to know
How it feels loving you
Nothing's real

Won't you take me? Won't you wake me to the lie?
I feel a little damaged
Change me, won't you make me alright?
And I'll feel a little damaged tonight

I'm sinking like a stone
I thought you'd like to know
I was deeper than a well
Then you came along
I fell so hard for you
I just lost my guard

Won't you take me? Won't you wake me to the lie?
I feel a little damaged
Change me, won't you make me alright?
And I'll feel a little damaged tonight

You can take away the pain
Can take away the love
You gave me everything I can't give up
So, leave me with this night, yeah...

Take me, won't you wake me to the lie?
Won't you take me? Won't you wake me to the lie?
I feel a little damaged
Change me, won't you make me alright?
And I'll feel a little damaged (tonight)

Won't you take me? Won't you wake me to the lie?
I feel a little damaged
Change me, won't you make me alright?
And I'll feel a little damaged

Shadows in a love box

Take first steps with me
Leave the shadows behind

Don't you wish
The light sparkles
Just a little while longer 

Feel my palm with yours 
Snuggle up in love we bind

Have you felt
The smile lingers
Just the day over

The Pink Ice Cream Cake

It seems lonely enough
The last person left in this world
You look for joy
Like digging for gold
Not so long ago.

The pink ice cream cake
Before me
Is a tasty picture
So sweetly pretty.

I imagine, thumbing and eating it.

Loneliness soon becomes unbelievable.
Joy is soon so near.

Do you still love clouds?

I remember and I do.

Rainbow after the rain

Much happier.
I have found it back.

When you...

Count your losses,  am I one of them?

I want to feel again.

Welcome winter, you are my favourite.

The paperthin love

Roses prick with their thorns,
But entice with their fragrance,
Help me find her garden.

It has been so very much.

Reframing the mind.
Breathe again, Natasha.

Sound of the day

These are the stories untold,
I want to dance when you can't hold.
To know that you would call,
Cos we are not done with it all.