all of us =)

looks comical.. but nice! =)

2 shots from my sis's wedding.there are just too many pics =)

new character in no new circumstance

i learnt today that even when you decide to leave a life of fame, your legacy remains, cos it has most posssibly left a tiny yet significant blot on the landscape of history. a mail that almost frightened me actually offered a huge blessing in a time when i thought i have already decided on my departure.

thank you Father. How can i ever imagine...

~i have just drunk my lunch :9

i pray..

140107 today i prayed that my brother will come to know and accept Christ by end of this year. i also pray that the drama team can fulfil her vision by end of this year.

it has been 6 years of beautiful friendship.hugs~

a little woman, a little me

after teaching this morning,

i spent the day with a book Evelina by Frances Burney today. Away from the harangues and maladies of life's noises, I am still 200 pages away from the last page. it was peaceful silence in my reading. just me and the book. the book and me. This remote romance novel is unabashedly rich with personalised sentiments, descriptive writings and witty dialogues. tensions are genteel and shews the bondage that the protagonist, Evelina, has, with social decorum.( i don't know why they "chuse" to spell things this way..) highly feminine in character, it is an appealing page-turner that chases an affirmation of traditional, gender-based social values and a rejection of the same in one dimension.

she is one woman drawn from nature.

i treated myself to a new dinner after reading for nearly 4 hours. portebello mushrooms with cheese. a little ham, a little orange juice. though a little charred, it smells like those you can find in Marche's. i am finally smiling with this little pat on my own shoulder.

i love being a little woman in my little house on this little one day.

"Nothing is so delicate as the reputation of a woman; it is at once the most beautiful and most brittle of all human things" (Evelina, 39)

ce n'est pas un beau monde

new semester begins and i am sinking under the sea of fatigue.
i am colored.
adieu.

050107 1st cg of the year.. welcome aboard!

buddy meal

some wise counsel from my buddy james:

"catch the fire for himself"
"seek wise counsel"
"be more patient"
"what are your needs?"
"let him grow"
"and take the lead"

"A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity."
Proverbs 17:17

a piece of life

I spent part of my day removing the dust of 2006 from my room today. It’s technically the start of a new year, so I thought some therapeutic cleaning-up is good to usher some 2007 newbies. My body is still aching from the past few days of intense workout. Being a participant of the aging process makes the mind ponder more than ever before. Was with Trish and Janice last night at sushi tei takashimaya. Got pretty drenched by the rain while crossing to the bus-stop. Deep inside I am thrilled because I have friends like them who will accompany me through the days of growing up. My girl friends ~ some getting married, some found their Mr Right, some fallen out with their thought-so Mr Rights, some remain steady as the anchor of my life, some still wondering when Mr Right will come, some waiting for that Mr Passive to speak his mind, while to some, 2006 was simply a year older for them. I always think that guys take strolls in our lives. Some take a long stroll by writing a long 30-page essay, some peek in for a sweet poem, some stumble and throw us a haiku, some just an SMS. It is maybe what makes growing up as girls extraordinary. Overarching all these perhaps is the cursed gift of time that estranges us and builds us up ironically.

311206 EPISODE5 Strange but true. The year 2006 has ended. That great distance has left all of us. I had much to give thanks to. The way 2006 has closed itself was a big bliss from heaven. EPISODE5 was a fruit of my labour. Seeing everything falling into place was a comforting pat on the tired limbs. The blend of camaraderie energy, support, encouragement and trust all experienced in one night. I have been extremely blessed for the last two years since I am back in church.

2007 new year resolutions

Theme for the Year 2007: PEACE

Life verse for the Year 2007:"For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit, because anyone who serves Christ in this way is pleasing to God and approved by men." Romans 14:17

life ought to be balanced upon a holy scale for a peace-loving me










~MORE of wisdom, patience and godliness in my relationship with somebody
~MORE of commitment and discipline in my service to cg and drama team
~MORE of dilligence and God's grace in my studies
~MORE of God's union and reconciliation in my family
~MORE of God's peace in my friendships and saved lives
~LESS of pride
~LESS of pleasures, selfish desires and ambitions
~LESS of insecurities, fears and anxieties
~LESS of illnesses and ailments

not so impressed

Just a few more days to 2007. I’m cracking my head, praying for a life-verse-of-the-year for 2007, as well as some concrete New Year resolutions to blow a kiss for the start of 2007. One word that keeps surfacing in the waterlogged brain is CLEANSING, that will mean purging egregious sins from the inside out. Picking your hill to die upon, will mean paying the spiritual price to keep connected with God for every decision of my life next year. Or else, it is going to be an expensive flop.

This was my verse for last year. "For I know that this will turn out for my deliverance through your prayer and the supply of the Spirit of Jesus Christ, according to my earnest expectation and hope that in nothing I shall be ashamed, but with all boldness, as always, so now also Christ will be magnified in my body, whether by life or by death."
Philippians 1:19-20

This year I have tasted the sweetness of God’s measure of restrained garce and I hope it is the same for many of the people I love and care. Back to cleansing, I hope that God’s persuasive voice will rise again in my innermost spirit and that as I wear the helmet of salvation and shield of faith, I will be able to combat the enemy’s flaming missiles every time.

Something for today:

“The lamp of the LORD searches the spirit of a man; it searches out his inmost being.” Proverbs 20:27

241206 me n alvin

241206 KBOX countdown

241206 cheers at KBOX

241206 me, helena and ivana at KBOX

2000 Esther and I.. at Siloso Beach Sentosa.( sthg is wrong with the date on the pic)

AEP 2000 that is all ART CLUBBERS in the old njc art room

AEP 2000 (at suntec city sky garden)..jiesheng, shushan, esther, me, caroline, weibin, qiandi and tingting..

AEP 1999 in NJC (at botanic gardens with Mr Lim).. that was like 7 years ago..I dug these pictures out this Christmas Eve.. these were afterall, part of my history =)

22nd Dec 2006 Christmas Party cheerios~

some words about christmas

Christmas, is my favourite time of the year. When I was young, we used to hang socks at the window overnight and dad will act Santa and put some cash inside. I slowly realised the true meaning of Christmas when I got to know Jesus better. Last year, Christmas was a very joyous occasion for me. Though we were all busy with the Christmas drama, I found many friendships strengthened in the process. Last year, trish came to my place to make potato salad, this year Im doing it alone. I miss those sugar-laced days .. This year Christmas is very operational for me. I HARDLY feel much of this season, Christmas drama seems more watered down, many of my friends are not in Singapore, not in church and not anywhere near, its a lot of ‘doing’ since I got back from Jakarta, so much that I have fallen ill. The only things that can remind me of Christmas are the friends who are still around labouring alongside with me, Joanna’s gift from Taiwan, somebody’s ipod, the nativity story watched…love must still be around in the air… just a bit different this time.

Hi all, check the timeshow out here!

Official Website: http://www.tav2006episode5.blogspot.com/

31st Dec 2006, Sunday, EPISODE5 : TAV Timeshow (Performance, sound and video festival): You are Invited!

MSN Christmas 24th Dec 2006 Sunday: Come join us!

The Road in Winter

My name is ‘Wisdom born on the day of Christmas’

What are protracted roads less travelled
Winding roads less preferred
Raining upon the heart
Marred by soil and sand
This time the road in winter
Leads to the path of gold

To each road darkened lights
To each road dreams and sunlight
Snowing upon the body
Thickened by valour and might
This time the road in winter
Leads to the path of gold

Forsaking what slurs behind
O, roads narrate journeys trodden on
O, roads wide and countless
Emptiness in nightmares
Happens before Christmas
This time the road in winter
Leads to the path of gold

For even this road, to me
Is a vista of hope and knowledge
Less vanity, more wisdom
No more probing
In this winter’s bitter cold
This time the road in winter
Leads to the path of gold

My name is ‘Wisdom born on the day of Christmas’

24th Dec 2006, Sunday, Christmas Service : You are invited!

thoughts amidst the..

the best feeling when celebrating somebody's birthday is when you feel like you are celebrating your own
somebody wishes to spend the next birthday with me
no matter how busy one may be
God takes on the busyness and shields you perfectly
Christmas is coming
can you smell it?

161206 sister's wedding dinner

secret thoughts today

遠く私はからの彼を見てことをわかる私が有するそのような感じを私が常に彼の損失を恐れているもっとことをことをなぜであるもっとI は彼を愛するか。

141206 father's bday

 

131206 cg food expedition

the end.

It is the end of that pleasurable eight days in Jakarta. Goodbye all sweet memories. Back to reality. That frustrating reality that kisses you violently the moment I step foot in the airport. Sorry to my friends, there is nothing to buy in Jakarta. Busy city life that is slow moving. Thanks to Kenji san who has made my stay a good one, for treating me so well and to Mr Houkuhara, for that wonderful dinner at The Angus House, Senayan City. Thanks to Julie and Stuart for putting me up and being so nice and hospitable. Thanks to Yoyoyo, Atieq and Heru who have invited me to perform at the nasional gallery, Jakarta. And all my friends in this trip. Thanks to somebody to his sms-es, and him missing me, and whose voice accompanies me everywhere I am in Jakarta. Thank God for everything that is beautiful in His precious name.

goodbye jakarta sky

untouchable unthinkables V

steve called me last nite. had a gd chat with him, im very pleased that he has found his love. really unfortunate that i can't get to meet him when he is back in singapore this time.

called sister bertha when i was at the salon today.too bad that i can't go to palembang this time. missing her as much as she misses me.

tomorrow, i will have a day to myself in meridian hotel.love jakarta sky.

IPAE..finale

IPAE last day...so smashing

081206 angie, me, da wu n julie

untouchable unthinkables IV

something will be beautiful if u allow it to be beautiful...Love will be beautiful if you want it to be beautiful....being in a team will oni be beautiful oni of you really want to be in one.....God's plan for you is something that you will feel strongly for....

081206 IPAE continues

untouchable unthinkables III

meditating on Psalms 41

1 Blessed is he who has regard for the weak; the LORD delivers him in times of trouble.
2 The LORD will protect him and preserve his life; he will bless him in the land and not surrender him to the desire of his foes.
3 The LORD will sustain him on his sickbed and restore him from his bed of illness.
4 I said, "O LORD, have mercy on me; heal me, for I have sinned against you."
5 My enemies say of me in malice, "When will he die and his name perish?"
6 Whenever one comes to see me, he speaks falsely, while his heart gathers slander; then he goes out and spreads it abroad.
7 All my enemies whisper together against me; they imagine the worst for me, saying,
8 "A vile disease has beset him; he will never get up from the place where he lies."
9 Even my close friend, whom I trusted, he who shared my bread, has lifted up his heel against me.
10 But you, O LORD, have mercy on me; raise me up, that I may repay them.
11 I know that you are pleased with me, for my enemy does not triumph over me.
12 In my integrity you uphold me and set me in your presence forever.
13 Praise be to the LORD, the God of Israel, from everlasting to everlasting. Amen and Amen.

071206 IPAE at the national gallery, jakarta

IPAE 2006, Jakarta

IPAE Birds Migration 2006, Jakarta

http://iipae2006.blogspot.com/

untouchable unthinkables II

Performance art is not interesting anymore? It has become a migration of birds from one place to another as it originates from the West and now widely spread in the asia region. The new breath of life into performance art as an invitation to a dialogue, which relies on concept not on objects or skills, an expression of the self in the public space. When humans are creatures designed to communicate, is the artist and the work of the artist in performance art inseparable? Do we take on a new role when we perform or we do not? In the history of performance art, do we have an exact mapping of the time of the beginning of performance art or is it what we call a series of emergences that has no beginning or ending? How do we rebrand performance art and reposition it in this empirical approach to the quest of knowledge? Do we copy a form without synthesizing the information? Is communication through art borderless as it creates psychological space in the minds of the audience? Have we jumped the rails in our obsession of the body in performance art? Is the body the place for performance to take place? If so, where are the social realities surrounding it? I realize today that the communication between the performer and the audience is no longer defined as a direct or indirect communication? But it is an uncanny communication if the notion of the performer and their work are inseparable. It is an uncanny transaction when we transform into something unfamiliar during the performance (due to spontaneity and unpredictability) and use that unfamiliar form to interact with the audience to make them feel familiar to us. That transient form exists in this liminal space in between, and it transcends beyond material, time and space. This sentence popped up during the workshop “ is there only one God, one reality, one truth if our notion of time is linear?” I have been thinking about the integrity of a performer these few moments. The performance artists here in this event are peaceful people and I am glad to be here in partnership with them in this festival.

.. On the way to national gallery today, I thought about how much I love Indonesia. I still do. the people here have that indescribable genuinity that is unique to them alone. We have been spending time on the road in the traffic jams more than sleeping..my performance is tomorrow, this is my first performance out of Singapore.. gotta be good =)

selamat tidoor.

doing my sis's wedding slideshow here

05/12/06 me and kenji san at marriott hotel, jakarta

05/12/06 at edwin's gallery, v cool sculptures

06/12/06 the swimming pool area

06/12/06 living area in stuart's plc

this is my room in stuart's place, staying with angie and julie in 11b, kemang berat, the european area in jakarta. high ceiling, really cool.

05/12/06 at the national gallery

untouchable unthinkables I

So it was like this:
Somebody asked if I like to listen to music in random or to be in control
Somebody wanted to go to expo to get his stuff
Somebody could not make up his mind
Somebody said he bought part of it
Somebody asked if I prefer form over function, or function over form
Somebody has something to give me for this trip

.. silly somebody gave me an ipod nano, recorded his voice in the nano to keep me company in Jakarta.. I was touched to tears. The love and sincerity in his voice keeps ringing in my ears.

Jakarta is a busy town. Full of traffic jams, and we ‘lost’ an hour upon reaching. Met my student from YI and his dad Suhaimi at the airport. He happens to know Jeremy too. They worked in the museum before. We were on the same plane so he helped us get our way to the national gallery by getting us a mini bus for six of us. That trip took us 180000 rupiahs. We waited a long deal of time at the gallery cos everything was screwed up kind of. Poor atieq, she must be really overtaxed with so many things to do as the organizer for IPAE and too little help around. I presume it is going to get more chaotic when more artists streamed in. we finally reached stuart’s plc in kemang berat and settled down. The bad thing this trip is that I forgot to bring my name cards and my wire to transfer pics onto the laptop!! =( but I will try to ask if I can get from Julie.

Day turns very dark at 6pm and we were so lazy to go to the exhibition opening back at the national gallery after our oxtail soup dinner that was really pedas. Anyway, we went back to the gallery (each trip to and fro takes about 50000 rupiahs and 1 hour) and I hung around for a while until kenji san came to pick me up. We went for dinner at Marriott hotel, chatted and he drove me back at around 12 plus. I was dog tired and headed straight to bed. The next few days are going to be packed with talking to people, attending workshops and performing. I wonder when the next time I will be online is. I wonder how the cg is doing. How everyone is. Jakarta is a nice place afterall, to live in, it is like.. so near yet so far. I learnt from my conversations with julie and angie last night that I really need to watch my back in whatever I do... somebody has reached phuket. Im sure his journey is going to be

05/12/06 tts me and alvin , as he sends me off to the airport =)

02/12/06 the three of us with the christmas tree

02/12/06 xinyi and i at the hk eatery in cineleisure

2nd dec 2006 exclusively yours

honour your parents means to obey as best as i can. her lashings only made me realise that my crying was a reaction, my speaking up was a defence. she was only making one point, that is: not to go home so late and make her worry amidst the venom in her words that rend my heart apart. becoming a tearball on my way out was not the best form i could be.

finally reached the day we so planned for.we caught Flags of Our Fathers after pepper lunch at lido, got some time to shop for topman's shirts and joanna's present. met xinyi for dinner at this hongkong eating place at cineleisure. sounds like the usual hangout places on a sat? maybe for our students. we usually stay at home on sats.. but today it is all so different as we immerse in the overjammed orchard road and sparkling christmas glitters and lightings. the mind took off to a relaxed mode today, just to have somebody.

are heroes what we create because we need them?
is your hero at the cross of calvary?

011206 champagne night

holidays are ..heaven's little rewards

Hols , what exactly are hols? Does it mean staying up late to do nothing, hang around and chill till dawn breaks? or waking up late till you don’t even know what time you wake up? I had two days of ‘holidays’ after my last paper on 28th Nov. And I want to blog it cos it had been very meaningful. I met tricia on Wednesday at Holland V—Ya Kun Kaya Toast and had a good long chat with her. Been a long time since she left and we finally had the opportunity to talk about things face to face. I always remember her telling me that we are like on different journeys in life now since she has left brighton. And I just want to say that perhaps it is this fact that we are on different journeys that will bring us closer together more than before. Although every moment of spending time together feels like she is still right here with me in church and serving God in this brighton community. Her leaving made me grew so much independent and stronger to fight on and go on. Even if it means being alone. I guess it is true, sometimes, I do think about what will happen to the friendships I have in church now if I were to ever leave? Maybe james pang and I will not be buddies anymore, maybe my young adults would have forgotten about me.. may be..all it takes is to trust in God a little more, a little to forever. I have enjoyed my time with tricia and I pray that for her, though some friendships fail, some friendships remain, those friendships that remain will continue to stand the test of time. I want to continue to be a sweet blessing in your life my girl. I met seah at the later part of the day and though there was so much walking (that my legs really ache) while he did his retail therapy, I am glad we met up that day to let the dust fall. Thanks so much for the expensive crystal jade restaurant dinner and the gin tonic at Hilton. It was interesting to be observers of the scream bitch fight isn’t it ? I thank God for the courage to speak my mind about all that we had gone through. Like I have said, memories can only fade, memories cannot be replaced. All in all, you still have a place in my heart, a friend I do care for and pray against hope that you can share in my Father’s love too. As much as he loves you, he wants you to know Him that much too. To your every passion, every desire for love, I toast to you with my usual glass of white wine. cheers.

--- I probably didn’t sleep much cos I expend 5hours on the phone with somebody, as the day draws nearer to my leaving on the 5th, how I wish I could prolong this time. How I wish I don’t have to miss.. don’t have to be away for 7 long days –

The next day after jumping out of bed, I realise that the philippino artists—jeho they all, had not contacted me, that left me kind of free cos I was too reluctant to start packing. Thank my dear God for the chance to be at Holland V again with my twss beloved colleagues. So there were 11 of us – yanping, yanfang, shuwen, sumarni, hwee cheng, kaiming, alvin, kok hian, imran, gilbert, and I. We had lunch at coffee club – some pasta, and head to settlers’ café for a thrilling time of fun and games. The usual Taboo we played and Charoodles I think. We had a time laughing our heads off in the discovery of how talented many of us are. “mary and lily are good friends”, that’s amusing. kok hian and gilbert are hilariously comical. I seriously think that I had spent my time really wisely and fruitful.I miss being part of the twss team, I miss everyone of them, I really don’t know when will be the next time we can be together in such a setting but perhaps, the rift between us will be wider as well..

Had a meeting in the night with the episode5 people. Julie’s finally back and she opened that little door in my heart by being around. I’m glad she likes the heart-shaped blink blink key chain I had gotten for her. It was so ‘her’ that I could not resist the temptation to get it for her. Next year is going to open up a whole new world for her. I hope I can continue to encourage her as a friend no matter how adverse and tense things maybe. I love you Julie. Finally can spend more time with you already by going to Jakarta. Have a safe flight tomorrow. See you again soon my gorgeous.

…..

trish got me this gift from hongkong. kinda innovative stuff. i love it!