面具的三分曲/Mask: 3 min melody

秋天的雨滴
宛如我指尖的血迹
两人的声音
泪,记忆的痕迹
默忍的伤感
我拥抱黑天的神情
两人的木纳
爱,眷恋的忧情


raindrops in spring akin to
blood stains on my fingertips
the coupled voices,
tears,the fades of every memory
the repressed anguish
I can embrace the darkness's her temperament
The coupled dazes
loves,the nostalgias of every woe

P.S : I split my mind into two today, and I penned this little poem in 2 languages in a few minutes. I realise that I have the tendency to translate words in my mind very fast, esp. when I go to ktv to sing Chinese songs, the words on the screen just get automatically translated into English text in my mind. So I thought I will just try out if I can pen a poem in this way ..Anyway, I am a Chinese to whoever asked this question :)

Finally

Finally, this is a promise kept, promise about to be fulfilled. I can be with her again. So this is the taipei 101 that we will go and see. A long chat with Joanna last night planning our itinerary in December. Finally, we can tour together and be like before, eat, drink, chat and have fun like the days when she was still here in Singapore. We have grown up much over the years, and are beholding our plans for our own future. Even when our lives seem to be expanding in the number of commitments, friends and partners.. we still share the love like before. Best friends can go through the most frustrating moments of life, yet can savour the unimaginable teaching moments of life. Wherever she goes, wherever I go, our paths will blend into one, solely because we are the best of friends who keep this promise as one.

当爱能够感觉到最令人泄气的时刻
是时刻诺言被履行
或是在想象中的诺言被爱放弃？

"Raised" 2007

Raising a platform is a symbolic act of elevating the status of the foreign workers and acknowledging the significant contributions to the development of the country.

“Raised” has been developed as a lively discussion group seeking to create a common platform for different voices to be heard, and differing ideas to be shared and debated on equal ground. “Raised” can also be read as in raising questions about our assumptions on our memories, history and heritage; raising questions on our understanding about the difference in culture and values.

“Raised” is a collective effort of eight participating art practitioners, namely, Amanda Heng, Shenu Hamidun, Siti Salihah bte Mohd Omar, Sriridya Nair, Nurul Huda Farid, Joshua Yang, Justin Loke and Cheo Chai-Hiang.

For more information about "Raised",check out http://www.raisedproject.blogspot.com/

We started a Second Life as well, in this virtual world without limits except the limits of one's mind. you can see me with my NIE mates. I am the "SPG in blood, Jpop in culture and style" girl trying her dance stunts in this snapshot. Check out my altar ego as i begin my second life =)

the Second Wind, life is simple living

so we celebrated christina's bday at kbox last sun.. sang for about 5 hours while being loaded with freebies and food =) this weekend was a easy-going one, somebody and i went for a swim and cheesy pizza hut dinner, after making a face mask of him with white plaster. I have enshrined him in this piece of artwork. this week i found myself labelling the teaching of literature as a highly refined civic and moral class, found myself being an impactful influence in a good friend's life, and found sleep to be the biggest friend. like a baby, i deem sleep as top priority these days.and also, i started to look for the second wind in my faith this season like the prophet joel. the second wind like a regain in power and a restoration of the cornerstone. somehow, evan almighty refreshes me greatly. live simply, and we will be happy =)

Memorize a Kiss

Now I have something to say to the elders in your group. I am also an elder. I myself have seen Christ's sufferings. And I will share in the glory that will be shown to us. I beg you to take care of the group of people that you are responsible for. They are God's flock. Watch over that flock because you want to, not because you are forced to do it. That is how God wants it. Do it because you are happy to serve, not because you want money. Don't be like a ruler over those people you are responsible for. But be good examples to those people. Then when the Ruling Shepherd (Christ) comes, you will get a crown. That crown will be very glorious, and it will never lose its beauty.
1 Peter 5:1-4 (ERV)

God's words are cubes of gold when the gangs of sea in my soul are very dry.. esp.
when i want to lead my own life
when i feel like a hermit
when i feel like shutting the world off
when i want vanity to take over
when i want to be in a own world
when i dread going to church
when i refuse to serve His people

i have a Greater Responsiiblity, simply because i am created by him, and him alone.
keep vigilant so that i can be the servant who is ready when he comes. And this Greater Responsibility is one that will provide me with security and joy that no one can offer.i am so won over.

jereme, celest, me and alvin for Borne Ultimatum(2)

110807 for Borne Ultimatum (1)

030807 to 090807 Korea BIPAF-Bucheon, Gimcheon, Sacheon

next to next

This time to Korea was a fantastic adventure for my soul. It’s no longer just about knowing the friends, having new contacts and learning and appreciating a foreign culture. It was a moment that I had found myself. Not through surveying my past performances, or assessing my future capabilities. It was about letting go of the constrictions and being fired up with a new energy within. And it is amazing how the miracle of finding myself shudders against an alien backgrpund- grim North and South Korea carrying the brunt of political oonflict and intense dissatisfaction.

I have an image of the next right now, and I am happy, like many of us.
goodbye bucheon, gimcheon and sacheon, where divisions are simply lines.

BIPAF '07 Leaving Bucheon City (3rd to 5th August 2007)

A sound from me in Korea. Right now, I am in the hotel room in Hotel Kobos, Bucheon City, Seoul. Today is the second day of the performance fest (Bucheon International Performance Art Festival) at Central Station Bucheon. It has been a great two days here getting to know the culture, language and friends from Finland, Australia and America. I am the youngest performer around and Hong O-Bong (organiser) calls me his 'performance daughter'. Indeed, as much as we need unity in life, we also need that richness in diversity. We can't be living in a homogenous Macdonalds' World, isn't it? I like the peace here, streets are relatively quiet with light traffic. But it can get boring because we do not know any hangout places and language is definitely a barrier to many of us. I am staying in the hotel with Agnes Yit and Irma Optimist (Finland)- 3 beautiful women in the room. Most of us have already performed yesterday. Today, the bulk of them are Korean artists and one Japanese artist- Yasuo (he has been very helpful in teaching me Korean language and written characters- he reminds me of Todd-the very 'monkish' kind of baldheaded guy.) There are mostly women performance artists here, only two guys and one translator whom Agnes and I do not really trust-an opportunist guy who has a pediatrician gf in Singapore, 42 years old.

Anyway, we need some mental rest, I need to have more money with me- my Won is depleting very fast, because the things here are really expensive, each time u ask "Olumaeyo?" (how much?)- the minimum is 1000 Won!). I also need to go and change my Somebody's T-sirts- I woke up this morning and realise that the shirts I bought are far too small- I hope and pray they can let me change the sizes though I did not keep the receipts- I hope the Japanese can help me communicate later =( I am so bad at estimating human sizes! And I do not want to waste money! We are leaving Bucheon tomorrow morning, so I can still use the Internet and go on Msn and use the hotel phone to make international calls for first 5min free. We will be travelling to Kimcheon City on Monday morning by the Korean shinkansen (korean rail). From Tuesday onwards, we will go to Sacheon City till Wednesday. Returning to Singapore on Thursday from Bucheon City to Incheon International Airport. This week ahead, I want to focus on my performance and do a good job. I don't want to think about anything else because I know once I step on Singapore again, it is a storm of things in the head. There might be a typhoon this afternoon here too. I wonder how it will be like! I need to be sane.

Goodbye Bucheon, may we meet again when I start to learn some Korean.

Dreams, I have some. Breath, I have much. Love, I have one.
God, thanks for loving me.

a moment from heaven

Just some hours ago, I was having lunch at a coffeeshop in Jurong West when something unusual happened. I was thinking to myself at that time-wondering what kind of country is Korea, is it like Philippines, Jarkarta..the places that I was the last few months, where I see poor people around? That I have to be careful with your belongings wherever I go? or is it like Singapore, a first-world country where even dish clearers in coffeeshops wear gold jewelry? (dish clearer with gold jewelry walked past) I remember David once told me that in the wealthy lanes of Tokyo Shinjyuku, once a while you can see a man digging into trash at the roadside for food. I wonder if I would see such a sight in Korea, a poor hungry man in the midst of LV, Chanel, Burberry bags thronging the busy streets. My thoughts swifted to my broken Chanel compact this morning, when someone tapped me on my wrist and broke my thoughts. Before me was this old Malay woman in a flowery sarong who brought her food before me, and so she was to share with me the table for her meal. I was about to finish my chicken rice then. I saw what was laden before me was a plate of rice with abit of sambal chilli, a half piece of salted egg and a small bowl of bittergourd soup. She limped off to get her drink after she put her food down. I looked at her food, and looked at my almost finished food. I had chicken, cucumber, and soup.. She had only a half piece salted egg. So little. Can't be enough. My heart went out to her. I felt like crying when I looked at her little food. But I did not know what to do. Buy her food? Give her money? Will she accept? Will she be angry? Will it become a dramatic scene in the coffeeshop like those chinese drama serials where kind-hearted souls get scolded by the 'beggars'? Just when I was debating in myself the best way to love her, she returned, limping, with a glass of plain water. I tried not to let her know I was looking at her and her food. Then she walked away before I could catch her glance. I was about to finish, my Pepsi twist still left with a quarter. Maybe I should get her some chicken, place it beside her plate and walk off? Too late, she was back. I continued to suck hard deep into my Pepsi twist, and smiled at her weakly when she plunged herself in the seat opposite at our table. I really had finished my food and drink, but I had not bought her anything. No, I could not just walk off and be ignorant and pretend I did not see what I saw. "Don't ever save on compassion.", Holy Spirit spoke. But giving her money or buying her food will just shock her offguard, I argued. I decided to talk to her. I asked her if the food was enough for her, offered to buy her more. But alas, she could not understand English. I was biting on my Bahasa. I could only tell her her food was too little in Bahasa. She could speak a bit of Hokkien. So she got the dish clearer with the gold jewelry to help translate. Hokkien? My, I tried my best. I told the dish clearer in my best Hokkien that I want to buy food for the Malay woman, what she was eating was too little, " wa(4) buay (4)" But the Malay woman rejected, she said the food was enough for her, "kam(2) sia(3)". Still, I could not just walk off, though I had really finished my meal. I reached for my wallet, wanted to shove 5 dollars in her hands before I go. But I was afraid that she would not accept it. Sigh. "Don't think too much, just give.", Holy Spirit spoke again. The Malay women was mumbling something about 2 to me, maybe she was saying she needed 2 dollars, maybe her plate of rice cost her 2 dollars, I was not sure. Alright, I got it. She might reject 5 dollars, maybe not 2 dollars. Last move, I placed 2 dollars in her palms, asked her to eat more in Bahasa and went off. She smiled and said "kam(2) sia(3" to me again. While walking off, I did not turn to look at her again. I was thinking if I see her again, I will give her more each time. How nice if we could have a hearty meal together some day. God's will that we sat at the same table today. God's will that she had made my day, like how I might have made her day too.

spurn

Max Gatsby couldn’t really sit still. It was meant as a time of contemplation, but her concentration was furtively sneaking out of her mind. Examining her soul, she found an abyss of dark mess that formed a gulf between her bone and marrow. Breathing out of it was a greater pull of determination. His face was a blur. She was bent on recalling that face, hoping for details to surface in her vision soon. Time was not in her favour. It was time to unleash herself. Her thoughts began to waft, and her soul glided along the coast of consciousness. She had forgotten loneliness.

Through the window, she was the guise of an invalid on the bed. She was cursing on her husband's face with words of unforgettable reproach. He made a nervous circuit of his house and ran for that thick tree trunk with leaves hanging like capes top down. The gates were rusty with age. There was no escape, except for a flung towards the atream downhill. No time to lit a pipe or stain his teeth with coffee,only one minute before she climbs down the ladder and wakes the entire Greenwich town up with her violent curses.

When every vestige of embarrassment over the gold ring was over, she heaved a breath in the crowd of ladies nibbling on cookies and men bristling over the Nordics. The silhouette of a moving cat wavered across the gloomy moonlight. At that moment, she saw him. A familiar figure leisurely walking towards her indifferent embrace.