when the perfect is far from perfect

I am excited the more I think about how near I am to a new year. A new year where I will be back to the marketplace, a new environment and new students. That itself is rewarding enough. And of course a goodbye for now, to my 21 years of studying ( including kindergarten ) I love my students. Everyone of them, even though I have forgotten most of their names, but not the faces. I want to be back to work again. The menace is gone after a week of fire-fighting it, and for now, I shall bury this bad woman into the abyss of darkness before I can think of charity and compassion. My heart is so much lighter now. She was never meant to be in my picture of life.If not for her, life would not be like this now. if not for her. yes. if not for her.we wil not be one piece of funiture short next time! Go away, I so look down on you, Shoo. Misfortunes are aplenty, I hate to agree. There is still one piece of bad news in my heart now. But since God has willed it, God will look to it. I can only trust. I wish I can be a tad more candid about my reality, but my every word is really to protect the ‘plaintiff’ of each life case. So I cannot really reveal what has been going on. Pastor Philip Huan noted 2 checks about discerning God’s will. 1) The Surrender Check , and 2) The Blessing Check. I am thinking about it. How much can a diamond ring be actually a positive impact on others’ lives? It seems so dumb to even think of it as a blessing. Surrender, God- I surrender it to you. Don’t give me a stone. Give me wisdom. I am so warring against the abstract within me.Even my boyfriend has a pseudonym of Somebody.