cracks and holes of the mind

I have begun to realise that updating my blog has turned from something exhibitionist to something seriously personal. Somehow, I have developed this habit for myself in the past month to be devoted to my blog to hold my thoughts in captivity. My blog has simply, became my secret lover. Yesterday started as a normal day of carrying out duties I have to do, to go to Kallang and print out my postcards but the events that followed were not part of any plans at all. Spontaneously, we (Warren and I) caught Urich at Lasalle and decided that we should go cycling at East Coast since I was at Kallang, the so far east, anyway. And there we were, at Bedok jetty with the bikes we grabbed from Studio 19, watching the crimson sunset and being regaled with abit of Mother Nature-the chants of the sea we embrace, though we were very much 'with the wrong guys and with the wrong girl'. We eventually headed for Tzay Chuen's dad's wake at Potong Pasir with Lee Wen and Kai. Watching the video of his dad and family at the wake weighed my heart with overpowering grief and I almost shattered into tears. I was terribly grieved as I resided in thoughts of my own dad and his funeral that I had in my worst nightmares. Julie and I always believed that when we passed on, we will bring nothing along except for our faith. And for people, especially my family, without a faith all their lives, you know the consuming pain I feel for them? This burden is one I cannot in my cleverness, illustrate.
Julie and I left and hopped to Grange Road for the night. Even more bizarre, was that we got hooked to 'Sex and the City", and watched it till morning around 8plus. When tear-jerkers and can-sized comedies don't excite the mind anymore, mouth-watering actresses triumph. At 9am, my biological clock turned foul and I collapsed on the bed till 2pm. I was waiting for Julie to join me but she never did get to the bed. When I woke up, we swam as planned and returned to the apartment to cook pasta for a late lunch. As a dilligent kitchen helper, and first time learning to cook, my confidence in cooking was brewed. I didnt need to be out of town to proclaim that this day is the best one in this holidays. With Julie's company and in Grange Road where reality wasnt a neighbour, I was so near paradise. It is such a different day from my usual days of waking up, with my studio work brawling at me and not to mention, the listful emails groaning for attention. There, I knew it was solace pampering the heart.
I knew for sure too, we all need lifesavers at certain stops in the shortness of our lives. These lifesavers deplete you of trivial injuries, lonely communions, mindless pursuits, conniving glances, opinionated teachings and endless monologues, for a moment. And that moment is priceless to the human tiny soul.