Friday, June 08, 2007

070607 Sushi Tei Vivo City



That's me, meishan and ann. One year has passed since we went our own ways. Me and mei to pursue our degree and ann working out there fighting fire in her school. Time is speeding, which is very good. Looking back,the past year has been one gritting teeth through tears. We had struggled and fought in school with our new foreign subject on top of art. We had times of wanting to beat back time, give up and hang loose. We had times of breaking down and thinking whether it was all worth it. We had times of patting one anothers' backs to spur one another on in this tiresome journey. We never did find our answers. But the year had nonetheless, ashamedly by God's grace, passed peacefully for us.

And so we got our results yesterday. Bad or good, the next semester will arrive at our toes very soon. We will go on, in fervour or in fear. That is the only way out for each one of us. The only way.

Knock me out of my dreams today and curb the fleeting heart. I need to be still. I need to be humble. I want to experience naked joy in short happiness.

So that I can be an olive tree flourishing in the house of God.

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

take a little ride with me.

7 habits of a Highly Effective Church

1. Saturate yourself with God’s words
2. Dedicate an offering each time you come before God
3. Participate passionately in worship

Part III

The misconceptions on worship is when people think that it is dependent on the worship team and that it is a good worship if one enjoys it. Conversely, worship depends on everyone and is for God to enjoy. Worship is never a special anointing; worship comes straight from the heart of a true believer. Worship too, has an outcome, God assesses the worship and for many of us, we should curb our evaluating attitude towards worship for comparisons generate pride and we should participate in worship instead of evaluating!

Worship requires

1) A heart of humility

“But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: "God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble." James 4:6
God looks at what is unseen.

2) A life of obedience

To obey is better than sacrifice, and this is reflected by our actions in daily living."But Samuel replied: "Does the LORD delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices as much as in obeying the voice of the LORD ? To obey is better than sacrifice, and to heed is better than the fat of rams." 1 Samuel 15:22

But these alone do not result in great worship.

In fact, though one may say that extravagant worship offered by the human lips and body is the icing on the cake, I believe it is more the cake than the icing. To reference great worship akin to a relationship with God is indeed valid. Because we have a God that is worth it. The redemption from God comes when He is able to reverse the use of our lips and bodies (the instruments of sin) into holy instruments of love expressions for Him. And great worship definitely needs to be transmitted from the human vessel to God. And that is what we are created for.

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

a piece of sponge cake stuck

I have rushing my butt to finish the two drafts of my two papers due in early July. Judging from the progress, I think I am doing fine, except that it is headache to recall details of Tupada Xing: Social Contact ‘07. One of my papers will be a record of this event, a journal-style kind of. Nothing concrete is out here, so the gist of my writings has not arrived. But really thanks to those who have been corresponding with me in the emails.
Therefore, I am blogging to clear off some dirt in the mind before I hit my pen again. That‘s my problem. I am too unobservant. Every time I travel, I don’t seem to remember specific details of where I had gone to and the names of people. At the end, I returned from each trip with a feeling. Maybe I am just too in touch with the feel of things and often float in my own world, that explains the insensitivity to details. I wish I have Kaye or Rommel to sit beside me to help me with my writings!
Nonetheless, I am grateful to God for this season. At one point, I was driven to desperation and my soul was frustrated as I was out-of -job and things just became dusty with meaninglessness. But my two good tuition jobs have arrived and the session last night was satisfactory. Also, I am invited to Bucheon International Performance Art Festival (BIPAF) in Korea in early August.(let’s hope I can make it there, I would think Korea is gonna be another eye-opener to me) and on top of that I am also invited to 12th NIPAF Asia in Japan and TIPAF in Taiwan. God has really been good, but it is just unfortunate that I have to reject going to Taiwan and Japan as it is not the time to go. I hope I can go next year though. Somehow, I wish to be able to travel as much as possible to perform before I begin work in 2009. But of course, the financial part will be a huge burden if I cannot manage to get grants.
I miss my friends in the Philippines, I wonder when I will go there again. They thought of me when they were at the BEACH in Rommel’s hometown! David shared with me a song by Chris Rice in his album Smell the Colour 9, what I could pick up from the lyrics “Every day’s life is a bank account, everyone has 24 hours, no one is rich, no one is poor…. “ (life is what you make of that 24 hours)..I saw my insurance agent’s money statement yesterday; he earned a total of $285000 the whole of last year. I went back, so unattracted to it.

Monday, May 21, 2007


210507 Wendy and I


happy birthday chuyia =)

Ben Puah And I: Friends Always :)

Thursday, May 17, 2007

dream a little dream


this is my best somebody, and his Gilera. it has been some months since somebody came. we have been through quite some memories. i still love somebody like the very first day i know i love him. being in love with somebody who is willing to give you a comfortable life is a happiness for every girl in the world. i am indeed blessed.
although his backache is sucking energy from him, i really appreciate how he makes time for me despite being so packed each day. busyness and fatigue often consume our souls. sometimes, we don't have the time to have a heart-to-heart conversation. the week just flies past unknowingly.
i hope it will not always be this way. one day, we must paint a picture together. we will head for the maldives, soon.

tricia's little farewell dinner

170507 her last day in Singapore before seeking a new
beginning in the fresh pastures of Tokyo. peter pang is a
typical American-Asian guy , definitely fun-loving and ever
excited about new gritties of life. hope life in Tokyo for him
will never be the same again with trish. God, bless their flight
and jobs, so that Your peace will reign in their hearts. look
forward today, life is exciting =)
That's seah and i..........keep the memories and
the friendship will be beautiful. to each his own
search for the love of one's heart, the joy of each
day, herein the rewards of life.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007


15/05/07 that 's sabrina and i
(my new short fringe)

Sunday, May 13, 2007

dream alive




Last week was a true bumming week for me after the exams. But good in the sense I met up with my friends like anthony, alen, sri, edwin, yongqing and chuyia. Was emotional and frustrated with having no jobs yet at the moment. But managed to fulfill the things I had wanted to do like packing up my books and clothes and sending my printer and lappy for service. It is another week for me again. I have some plans but the bigger plan will soon come in. its like a dream I had in the week.. the jog of life left my legs aching. Distractions pour in and barricaded the laps. But still, I will go on. I am such a workaholic who cannot rest. Somebody is my blessing, we had a swim, we had so much fun and joy and we ended the week with a seoul garden feast. What lavishness in life am I enjoying. simply no reason to drown in tears, isn’t it ? money will come, as I give more. Worries must not take centrestage, God must come first in all. Love makes one happy, love fills one’s soul. I must face the tremors and rumors of an adulthood with more and more courage and patience so that I can win over the world for God. God must head, I must follow. And peace is what the heart craves. The rumbles of the tummy echoes the drumming of the head. To hear the priceless of what each man seeks. Keep the dream alive. May the golden pen tip of my pen draws the shades of freedom today.

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

uncanny quiz results

I tried this link from sharon chan:
http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

and the results r so uncanny. it has unfortunate or not, verbalised my real thoughts!


Get to know yourself better

Your view on yourself:
You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are not looking merely for a girl/boyfriend - you are looking for your life partner. Perhaps you should be more open-minded about who you spend time with. The person you are looking for might hide their charm under their exterior.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:
You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education:
Education is less important than the real world out there, away from the classroom. Deep inside you want to start working, earning money and living on your own.
The right job for you:You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

speak of perils

Entrapped in a system of rigid attitudes that limits my autonomy. This is a one-liner to sum my life as a university student. I hate exams not because they determine an A or a B. But the bare fact that exams in the Singapore context are so-called intellectual vomit for every student. The abrasiveness of it runs counter to my life’s mission of not pleasing humans to win the praises of man. Must I pander to your favoritism? As much as there is value in the content of knowledge, the act of regurgitation in the exams greatly diminishes this value. Who remembers the smell of candy floss after visiting the carnival? Can one ever articulate it? An afternoon coffee joke of ‘do you remember the lawyer in “To Kill a MockingBird?’ or was it ‘How to kill a Mockingbird?’ is a reminder that jerks our senses to reality. Why bother to put us to test of how much we have retained when we will not retain it after all? The university that unites everyone in diversity, (yes, a crude diversity in agendas, my lecturers just want their paycheck at the end of every month, and we just want our pretty grades on that ‘priceless’ piece of paper) is sheer mockery to everyone. I thought I was a fighter in this battle of life in Singapore, but today at 25 years old, I am much sucked into this reprehensible system. No weapons that I had thought I possess can bring me victory out of it. Emotionally, I wonder why I have distastefully allowed myself to be persuaded into such sensibilities.

Against life’s shifting and ambivalent setting that locates one in a precarious situation, I am finding ways to worm into the joys of life. Sometimes one must not get too caught up with performing to achieve something; life must assume the identity to ease social restrictions and promotes freedom of mind. A little rest, a little fantasy and pleasure. I must learn to inhabit these little ant holes so that the grand scheme of life will not consume me. Things must become secondary to lesser events, so that the lesser events will loom larger in the memory. If Colgate tastes different on the tongue after use, words must then color my memory of life.

Let me try this: Since Moll Flanders is the embodiment of financial deception and passive victim of circumstance, then she will not make friends with Lizzie and Laura who are weaklings consumed by the evils of commoditization. If Lily Briscoe attempts in every way to evolve from traditional prescribed gender roles with her feministic artistic vision, then she would think The Lady of Shalott is such an impoverished, destined-to-die artist.Of them all, if Moll fights against Lily, Moll will definitely win because she is not like Lily who had 'missed the best of life". Moll has both money, sex and marriage, thus is the most successful cheat artiste around!

I feel like I am travelling through the vestiges of time every moment. This is the contemplative me away from the hustle and bustle of the activity of the everyday.

Monday, April 30, 2007

thank God nat killed mat

thank God she is now under the rug.
i threw all that she had taught away so that i won't be traumatised anymore.
i have been so 'off' these days.
missed m1 fringe fest, got invited to Bucheon International Performance Art Festival (BIPAF) for august.
i want to be so invisible.

nat takes only memories-- i want to be always happy =p


trish is leaving...



these are my two dearest frens from the TWSS BTs. the days in TWSS has slipped into the past in the form of a memory, but the friendship marks the present, which validates life today.

Sunday, April 29, 2007

foolishness.
some people are just foolish.
they don't deserve your time.
even those you think are connected by blood ties.
heck.
foolishness and blind.

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

The true nature of human condition


"I have a God. I navigate between dichotomies in this relationship with him. Sometimes I forget about him, sometimes I need him more than anything. Most of the time, I put him at limbo. Between my actions and my faith, it appears visibly to be so at odds. Excuses are predominantly around. I try to denonce everything by claiming that it is the heart that matters when I already have a corrupted heart and mind in so doing. I am moving beyond consciousness. Pride comes when in arguments and debates, I like to make him my defense and for personal glory, I want to label myself with this God. I always think I want to remember how much goodness and faithfulness he has given, and I always forget to remember. I take his forgiveness for free and try hard to push him away, pretending he is not around. I feel angry at the people he has created and wonder hard why he is always so cold to the disorders of the falling world. I am yet thankful to find his warm grace in the lives of many I have stumbled across. I want to be asleep with his words in the night, but I lose control and let fantasies replace them. I think I want to meditate on his words, but the techno bully tempts me more. And so I give in. I keep saying I am not perfect to justify things. It is irrational. And then again, I am so imperfect."

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Way back into Love from music n lyrics

I've been living with a shadow overhead
I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed
I've been lonely for so long
Trapped in the past, I just can't seem to move on 


I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away
Just in case I ever need em again someday
I've been setting aside time
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind 


All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
Oh oh oh 


I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine
I've been searching but I just don't see the signs

I know that it's out there
There's got to be something for my soul somewhere 


I've been looking for someone to shed some light

Not just somebody just to get me through the night
I could use some direction
And I'm open to your suggestions 


All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart again
I guess I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end 


There are moments when I don't know if it's real
Or if anybody feels the way I feel
I need inspiration
Not just another negotiation 


All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart to you
I'm hoping you'll show me what to do

And if you help me to start again
You know that I'll be there for you in the end

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

The woes of every human


stitch the penultimate slumber in a sequestered life
dream the incessant degeneration in a defunct life
iron the miscellaneous insults in an impinging life
cure the punching cartharsis in a candid life
and choose to
love the infinite lies in this little life

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

my life is not running linear

this is the time of the first half year of 2007 that i have to pack my ass for the examinations.. running against all odds to finish my revision before i get to philippines.
and a postcard from sweden makes the heart very glad.

Saturday, March 31, 2007

I have been so overworked..

that I miss my friends so much..
i owe everyone a bog catch-up...
miss you my loves
1. julie
2. angie
3. Ah Ming
4. warren
5. seah
6. yew seng
7. marienne
8. ann
9. tricia
10. philip
11. keith
12. buddy james
13. wendy
14. biyun
......................................................time to catch up when the hols set in. when the glut of work settles...

Sunday, March 25, 2007

glam, thoughts, look glam again

I haven’t written out my thoughts for some time. Days have been dressing up, going out,..rushing and rushing like no one’s business. So much that I felt that nothing has been done despite the mad rush against evil time. Finally, there is some little time to jot down some frills in the mind. Joanna is back and I am very thankful how God has brought this friendship through for the two of us for the past six years. Times have changed, we have changed, but this friendship remains what it should remain. I desire that she can stay closer to God and not be inflicted by sullen emptiness of the world. I believe that the lessons God is teaching her will cradle her somewhere.. sometime. The night out with her and somebody and everyone else was relaxed and pleasurable, though it was rather humid in the night. Flashing back.. I am also glad that my friendship with alen and sri have grown much since the beginning of this semester. So much giggles, sick jokes and complains, do make up a great deal of my uni third year life. It is immense joy to have them around. I am also beginning to see and think deeper about somebody and i. I hope to grasp a future together soon. And it is dreamy just to think about the beyond for us. He commented that my new slippers were interesting. I thought of writing this down, though it sounds silly. but it is really because it is rare that he will notice what I wear or put on. I’m happy the slippers did caught his eyes. I need to make sure that I don’t plunge into some major sicknesses the next few weeks to come. It is going to be intense preparations for easter and exams are lurking somewhere, not to mention my Philippines trip. I am beginning to enjoy collecting little memories in my life. They make up a whole of goodness to this life that God has given. Knowing the position that God has situated me, I am an overcomer in all trials, and I need to keep reminding myself to prepare myself beforehand, so that I can plug into his power at the right time, right place…

In the marketplace of my thoughts, I have some questions lingering somewhere in an almost clairvoyant nature. Is unspoken better than spoken? Is it better to be silent and move on? Why must things happen in that unexplainable manner that drains one of shouts and sobs?

I wanna be a glam girl touring the contours of the whole wide world, kissing the juicy sweetness of love and memories and resting in a baby's cradle peacefully.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Joanna My Best Friend is Back =)

200307 At Paragon Coffee Bean -- Our Fav Hangout

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Love is when I love you
In a world not full of love
I wanna love
In a world that offers none of what I am looking for
I wanna love you
In a world where peace can’t hold
I wanna love you a little while more
In a world that says no
I wanna love and say yes to you
In a world that can’t have me
I wanna love and sip some English tea
In a world of crippled laughter
I wanna love and laugh with you
In a world of misunderstood language
I wanna love and sing over the bridge
In a world of unsafe lullabies
I wanna love and not hear your goodbyes
In a world of hunchbacked time
I wanna love and steal time with a dime
In a world of this and that and nothing else
I wanna love your own soul sighs
In a world ..
Love is when I love you

Sunday, March 11, 2007

God Knows Best
by Helen Steiner Rice


Our Father knows what's best for us,
So why should we complain--
We always want the sunshine,
But He knows there must be rain--
We love the sound of laughter
And the merriment of cheer,
But our hearts would lose their tenderness
If we never shed a tear...
Our Father tests us often
With suffering and with sorrow,
He tests us, not to punish us,
But to help us meet tomorrow...
For growing trees are strengthened
When they withstand the storm,
And the sharp cut of a chisel
Gives the marble grace and form...
God never hurts us needlessly,
And He never wastes our pain
For every loss He send to usIs followed by rich gain...
And when we count the blessings
That God has so freely sent,
We will find no cause for murmuring
And no time to lament...
For our Father loves His children,
And to Him all things are plain,
So He never sends us pleasure
When the soul's deep need is pain...
So whenever we are troubled,
And when everything goes wrong,
It is just God working in us
To make our spirit strong.

building the memories in love

Merlion scam
A new wallet after an old
A drink at wine tapestry
Puzzle fighter at nikk’s, the pursuit of happyness
Half of Passion of Christ
That is how I spent my weekend with somebody I love. This has been an eventful week of the trauma of a lost wallet, a little unforgiveness and melancholy, the saga of his dislocated arm, watching "just follow law" on a weekday and every part of time being with him around. Words are already stale to describe how I feel but I know, I am in love. A big love. Thank you somebody FOR THE LOVE I trust and treasure. Glue me around you~HUGS~

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

A Barbie Doll's tale

No one can take away the happiness of a Barbie Doll
You can't
and you shouldn't
that's what I'm saying
even at the tall heights
I won't be scared of you
I won't let you suck the life out of me

Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Sunday, February 25, 2007

Resting in ur new identity

Adolescent age only signifies a beginning of an identity crisis, but it does not stop there.
What is your identity? The way you think about yourself is prophetic as it has a self-fulfilling tendency. Drop those inchoate perceptions of yourself today as you start to find rest in your new identity.

“For as he thinks in his heart, so is he.” Proverbs 23:7

Your old identity


Our old identity is attributed very much to Popularity, Performance, Possessions, and Power.

Popularity: We tend to build our identity from people’s expectations of us. The media lie causes celebrities like Britney Spears to dispose her identity, and change it to the whim and fancy of the bunfighting mass.
Performance: We seem to think we are what we do. Our jobs, our achievements, are the labels we incessantly attach to ourselves to build that self-worth. But the true value lies in what we are and not what we do. A change of jobs or living environment do not change who we are.
Posssessions: Obsession with material acquisitions is the perpetual illness. The proverbial “the more I have, the better I am” is not true if we are determined to have an own identity.
Power: Power does not corrupt. The truth is, our nature is corrupted by sin in the first place. So, a little power makes the corruption of the soul even more obvious. We weigh power as a measure of how much people will love, revere and acknowledge our existence.

Your new identity

You are God’s creation

“So God created man in his own image,
in the image of God he created him;
male and female he created them.” Genesis 1:27


It is written in poetry instead of a narrative method. Because poetry is a language of intimacy and love, God chosen to write this verse this way to express that personal relationship He yearns to have with us. We are the apex of God’s creation and He takes a personal interest in our lives.

You are God’s child

“For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love 5he[a] predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will—” Ephesians 1:4-5

This identity of being a child of God is not what we should trade for the filth of the world. When we start to fill our minds with lies of Satan, we prostituted this uniqueness that God wants to give to us as His child. Sin is the only thing that separates us from God. So many times when we are ‘lost’, it is often the result of penetrating sin in our lives. We all know that God loves us, but God does not necessarily like (‘like’ is a measure of preference) us. We need to live a life so that God can continue to delight in us.

You are God’s construction


“Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling,” Philippians 2:12

We are all God’s works in progress. The love of Christ is radically different from the love defined in the world. God’s love is done on the cross, “it is finished”, according to Jesus’s words. But the world requires work for rewards, it is a ‘to do’ kind of love. You need to work for what you want. But God has already worked his salvation in us. While he continues to work in us, we work out our salvation with fear and trembling each day. God is the architect of our souls, we must have full confidence that He can bring His work in us to completion one day.

Lastly, what we think of ourselves should be what God thinks of us. Find rest in your new identity today!

Thursday, February 22, 2007

for K

Forgotten reflection

The mirror reflects a life lived wrong
Forgotten a face it once belonged

Limping, a thumbtack on the broken toe
Failing, bruises on the tear-washed knees
Losing, fiery darts into the hollow soul

Broken mirror shards a life tortured
Forgotten a heart it once butchered --

powerless agonised sobs
insanity dripping on the grip of death

Monday, February 19, 2007

courage to believe

Tanya Cartels slept with a mind going not from A-Z last night. C-B, E-A, then C-B again. They kept rewinding and rewinding in a reel-like motion of a film, she could not sleep anymore. Searching amongst the heaps of books and papers obscuring the ashtray in the dark corner of her room, she grabbed the half-smoked cigarette and pursed her lips against the tobacco stick. She sucked hard. Her one hand was scribbling vigorously on that notepad against the torment of her mind. The flicks of memories hit her mind continuously as she flicked the ashes off the stick between her long fingers. The scribbles on the notepad had become to her, the scars on her heart. Tears started to flood her eyes and streamed down against her cheekbones, endlessly down her neck, onto her flimsy satin top. She sucked hard again, this time, it choked her throat so much that her breath turned congested with tears. She pulled her ruffled hair away from her face and plunged backwards into the mess again. If only it could be flung out of the window, she would not need the courage to believe. The courage to believe, she would not be hurt ever again.

Friday, February 16, 2007

From left: me, jennifer, jonathan, ernest and meishan.
BAART (2006 dip crossovers) going
strong la !

Wednesday, February 14, 2007


From left of this pic u get: danny, abelyn, aisha, zakiah, me,
elyse, abbas, sri and alen (lay leng not in pic)

Valentine's Day Special From Somebody and I

Can you ever put a price to love?

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”
1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Valentine’s Day. The past two years of Valentine’s Day.

This year my Valentine’s Day, is wholly different. On a day like this, some people are reminded of thinking when their love will arrive at their doorstep. For some, it is a grandiose occasion that expends their one year of savings. And for some, it is another working day, like each day that hutters past the eyelid. Whatever it may be, the noble reason behind Valentine’s Day is that it brings people together in love. Everyone needs love; Somebody needs love; the ill world needs love.

This year my Valentine’s Day, is wholly different. Somebody and I in Sentosa, a dinner at Sakae, an exchange of gifts, a walk to the island, a little stroll back to mainland. Even if this is sounding like an ordinary date, the memories that were stitched that night (13/02/07) are extravagantly worth treasuring. More important to me, is the intensity of love this time. The great love from the heavens, through my heart, to Somebody’s heart.

This year my Valentine’s Day, is wholly different. I found a love that needs no hypocrisy, no disturbed imagination, no mental anxiety and no ugly quarrels. But a love that God is nurturing. The love that Somebody showers on me runs from God’s wellspring of joy, love and peace. And to God, I am so thankful at this great gift He has given. My heart rejoices. My smile is cheerful. I am very happy.

Can you ever put a price to love?

Friday, February 09, 2007

Thursday, February 08, 2007

the world is so complicated, my mind must be so simple

A little on the show at Utterly Art..

LOVEMELT - AN ALTERNATIVE VALENTINE SHOW
“It’s not all lovey-dovey romance but this exhibition on relationships (or lack of them) stem from memories, longing, desire and charged interactions. We view Aiman Hakim’s reminiscences of past moments through his paintings of polaroids, Genevieve Chua’s portrayal of highly-charged juxtapositions in pencil drawings and Nicholas Chai’s misty idealizations of objects of desire in paint which simultaneously evoke longing and loneliness…”

after two days of void in my brush with food poisoning, bye bye chemical liquids, plastic capsules and pukes…headed to town with Edwin today at around 5.. got my book at MPH, deposited some cash.. and went to utterly art. Finally got to see aiman after such a long time.. everything looks good, smells nice.. at least my break from the outside world is still recoverable. I realise being self-absorbed can be a decapitating disease, it just leaves you emaciated from the fresh loves and juices from the world. Not that I embrace it, but it does puts me on what I call the gay gear. Haven’t touched base with this side of me for some time. Thanks Kenneth for offering me the space to read over there next time as I start on my articles.. that’s a huge fear, but I will still give it a try. First thing first, kick the self-absorbed habit, the world is still revolving alive!

Joined Edwin, Jane and Iven at sll for my dinner and hanged out at HMV in a sleepy mode till somebody came to pick me up from paragon. Some things I learn today: you can find something beautiful in simple things, keep simple. Friends are gems, lost gems you need to find and relish in them all the time.

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

LOVEMELT ( AIMAN AND I )


Long time since I saw this old friend of mine...
So we both grew up..
He is now a steward-to-be
as sweet and pretty as ever
i think he misses me too
i always miss his calls like how i miss him in the mind
aiman, love you~ must take good care, don't lose any more weight..
eat more, stay pretty
we will still look as good, cheers =)

070307 LOVEMELTS #1-#4




Sunday, February 04, 2007

only perfect gifts come from God

Check out sakura at clementi woods. Had a hearty meal there with somebody today. I want to pen this down because this is a day to thank God for. Authencity, passion and courage. The essential tools I need. With the miracle hand of our Father..Through the walk in clementi woods. My somebody. I love.

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.
James 1:7

Saturday, February 03, 2007

ennoble the loose-minded lighthouse

you have just taken a pound of my heart away
will you lose it?

night flutters its heartless winds
chagrined the faces

passerbys fade into invisibles
darkness the only anonymous

sounds of nature flung away
meted out a valentine

longing for a sequestered life
legends in a wine

you have just taken a pound of my heart away
please do not lose it

will you still lose it?

Friday, February 02, 2007

private thoughts.university life

Hell broke loose for us today, haven’t spend much time being clowny and corny since school started for us. Maybe the e learning week does help to release some stress from our bodies pelted by all the work from the vicious cycle of school. I enjoyed myself thoroughly with mei, jen, and jon at jurong point kfc after lessons tonight. In fact, today’s art class brought back many fond memories from the past two years of art in NIE. Just listening to the music, viewing the cd sleeves that we have created just makes me miss art making even more. Where has all our zesty creativity gone to? Suppressed treacherously by the amount of academic assignments? Because we are simply wage slaves? Where has the fun of university life gone to? And our crappy jokes. It did revive abit today. I wonder what makes me think of training the monkeys at bukit timah nature reserve to do massage. I do have quite a stretch of imagination I guess. I need that space to dream, a break from reality so that when there sunshine shines upon my ankle, I will be abit happier. A little laughter, I will then not be lost in my writings. A little prayer, I will then have a more cheerful look. And if I can accelerate a bit more of my life, I want to finish my degree, study my masters, get married and have my first kid. Not to say I have so grown used to the fragrance of your body. But I know, my future is secure in His hands which I can only trust.

Thursday, February 01, 2007

An inner resolve can create the sound of faith, like how writings can mute or make the paper alive.

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

the sound of faith is the sum of my happiness

Sunday, January 28, 2007

The Universal Law of LOVE

What you would like to know about my best friend JESUS

1. Jesus was never too busy for His people

Jesus continually broke conventions to be with people out of love and compassion.'
"When he heard that it was Jesus of Nazareth, he began to shout, "Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!" Many rebuked him and told him to be quiet, but he shouted all the more, "Son of David, have mercy on me!" Jesus stopped and said, "Call him." So they called to the blind man, "Cheer up! On your feet! He's calling you." Mark 10:47-49

2. Jesus was never too religious for His people

Christians are not a 'holy huddle', but we want to be friends to the world.
“The Son of Man came eating and drinking, and you say, 'Here is a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and "sinners." Luke 7:34

3. Jesus was never too self-absorbed for His people

God has given us people to love.
"Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done." Luke 22:42

My best friend would rather go to hell for me than go heaven without me. AND SO THE SAME FOR U! I will pray with gusto and candor that you will know HIM someday.

Sunday, January 21, 2007

royalty in a chimera

Inevitable major breakups have arrived at my scuffled feet.

Last Friday, the official announcement for cg multiplication is made.
Gibson is leaving our literature module next week.
I have also stepped down from my leadership in The Artists Village.

My heart is not torn into two, just sourly perturbed, a little achy.
Although new things are invited, they uneasily sit on the throne of the old.
I am unsure if I am smooching the new because I kept turning back.

The rain has stopped pouring on my frame’s frailty.
A warm bath has also dissipated the hardened cold.
I am thinking, missing and still thinking of somebody.

Inevitable scuffling breakups major on my arrived feet.