Wednesday, April 29, 2009

utter me nothing

What is a game that people play over and over again, never getting tired of? THE LOVE GAME, it is a big game to play and not just the typical boy-loves-girl one. Love inevitably comes with passion, and passion motivates how love can be found and lost. I have found love in the dubious nobility of teaching, at least that is where my myopic vision has taken me so far. A teacher, mediocre, good or great, gets by everyday but it is the dose of satisfaction that one cradles back to our reclusive souls. Satisfaction -- that could be rudely defined by the awe of students towards you, the kindness they give out of their ingratitude (at times) and the ego massager of discipline and punish. I have long concluded that this place is a panopticon, and puts you in a surveillance mood by the invisible eyes. This cauldron of feelings consumes me daily. Of late, I have lost love in myself. Lost a love for what used to be loved. Emptiness sullied me. Am I awaiting yet another breakthrough? Or is it just stale knowledge that I am operating on? Have I been slovenly meeting with each day? Or am I too impudent to see where the problem is? I must have been channeling energy into nothingness.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

constructed glimmer of hope

It was a 5 hours long talk, laid in squeezes of anxiety, desperation and worry. I have never experienced how a losing battle could unfold before me. Dreams became farther than before, the longer you spoke on. It was not about my dreams. But a shared dream for a worthy, very worthy cause. Don’t you remember their smiles? In that place you once built visions for? Your answer must be unraveling, and every iota of my heart says and believes so. At least, before it melts into wax.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Im missing many so many things.

Took for granted of those days
Thinking nothin' gonna happen in my way
Know I'm wrong and I regret
For the things I did and things I've said
Come back to my life once more
So my aching heart won't hurt no more

You're my special angel, show me the way
It's just that there is no one who can
Ever take your place
So bring me back the days before
There is so many things
You have to learn from us all

I questioned why you left that day
Didn't say goodbye and left your way
A wave is only what you gave
The image will never fade away
I memorized the things you've said
And I'll carry it on until I'm dead

You're my special angel
Show me the way
Those children needs your lovin'
In each and every way
All I want is only you
Take me now take me far away

Tears before my eyes
Hangin' on forever
Shattered dreams go broken
In all through their lives
Words you always said before
Tell me now that you'll leave no more

You're my special angel
Show me the way
It's just that there is no one who can
Ever take your place
Words you always said before
Tell me now, that you'll leave no more

Cause I know that you're the one
i'm waiting for...

Good Easter- My Divine Neighbour 100409