Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Jesus, I stole the innocence of your blood

Night slides in
Time to lock up those icy pensive fears
Bathing in the glistening tears
In my room alone
I pray to God

Awakening dreams
Scavenging on His misery
Suppressions, turned to blank clarity
Memories paused
Spinning in the pool of the blood of Jesus

Curled in my heart
The whispering sensation
Rolling into that infinity
I cried out
That untimely euphoria

Seasons of change melted
Time, nothing but a measure
Sacred professions
Against the poison of the world
Plagued by the thirst of desire

Your love stormed me tonight
Into the callow soul
My immunity against dangers
With your promises
I found my faith, unshakable

Numb and strange
Like the virgin moment
Tales of Your Majesty
Snuffed the lake of fire
No more abuse, ignorance

It is you on the crucifix
So I could break free
From life’s unsurprising tragedy
Your crimson blood
Taught me love
when we were perfect strangers


Jesus, I stole the innocence of your blood

Monday, January 30, 2006


me and joanna, the best of all best friends!

30/1/06 we caught fireworks today..like falling on our faces.MAGICAL!! so beautiful

29/01/06 beloved cg!!

melancholy in brother

loyalle and me

my family, so precious to me

me turning 24 years old

happy chinese new year!!

sis and bro in law at the staircase

dad and me

brother at balcony

cool..

candid candid at cousin's place

me and sis

candid candid again'

sis

brother's eye lashes

sis and bro in law

29/01/06

Friday, January 27, 2006


the place that is so cool =)

26th February 2006

.

there is so much more

Joanna is back. Im glad.. but on the other hand, I am hoping against hope that we will not drift too far apart in the days and years to come. In a way, I have to admit we are really of two different worlds, and it has been troubling me quite a bit. I don’t know why I am feeling this way. Perhaps with the sea of change that has washed over me.. I don’t even know what is to come… I will pray with all hope that I have that God will preserve this friendship, no matter what.

I spent time with Julie last night.. it was good. Finally we kind of know what we are going to do for the performance in Esplanade. For those who have been asking, let us keep it a secret first..heh

Wednesday, January 25, 2006


wendy (best fren's sis) and joanna

25th January 2006 joanna my best friend and I =)

Monday, January 23, 2006


sometimes. we just like the overexposed effect..this is me on 23rd January Monday..with the shepherd anointing..

Sunday, January 22, 2006

this whole life with you

I woke up this morning feeling the best of all mornings. It is 7:12 am, and in about 2 hours’ time, I will be worshiping Him in church. Woke up at 6am for a jog that I had been yearning for for days, thank God I finally managed to spend time with Him while jogging even though it is unusual for me to jog at such early hours. To think about it, I had only slept about 5 hours, and had not been sleeping enough, which is very evident from my eye bags and dark eye rings. As I look at the mirror these days, I know I am really aging, and the fears of aging just keep mounting. In moments like these, my worry for not being able to marry young just fit in so comfortably. It had been a treat to me recently, (even though I had not been updating my blog) but I am assured that I am in blissful happiness these days. Ironically, overlooking those treacherous signs of fatigue and aging, there are genuine jewels of happiness sparkling in my eyes.

I am thankful for you who had cleared all those daunting obstacles which had accosted me the past weeks. Being able to step forth in boldness for Your righteousness, and sharpening each other in this spiritual family in admonition, makes me really proud as a child of yours. And I am soaring gleefully on Your wings right now.
I am immensely grateful for the transformation that you have given me. I am truly, a changed person by your grace and seek to immerse myself in the depth of your grace this year.

On Fri, we had cg at my place. How you had surprised me beyond my imagination that cg will one day be at my place. My limited mind could never have conceived that. And You answered our prayers, the presence of Your Spirit was consuming every one in that inimitable way, in your most divine way. It is my prayer today for all my brothers and sisters who are so wonderfully dear to me that they will stand up under trial with a fire-tested hope and enduring strength. Let us catch a glimpse of the expanse of your incredible universe with all that awesome mysteries. Indeed, Your thoughts are deep, and ways are higher than us. And so we extol your name by remaining faithful with a whole-hearted devotion. For you are perdurable, who has placed eternity in our hearts, I ask that you allow true life may flower forth from the grain of wheat that died and was buried.

This is my life verse for this year:

For I know that this will turn out for my deliverance through your prayer and the supply of the Spirit of Jesus Christ, according to my earnest expectation and hope that in nothing I shall be ashamed, but with all boldness, as always, so now also Christ will be magnified in my body, whether by life or by death.
Philippians 1:19-20

PS: I am excited for Joanna is coming back on Wednesday.. it had been almost a year since I last saw her. I miss her. And I pray that she will draw closer to God this year. For all these days, we think that the things we are doing are for Him, but truly, He had been doing all these for us all these while, it has never been our credit.

Friday, January 20, 2006

Time for Preaching ..heh

Poverty of Mankind vs Richness of His Glory

‘poor’ in Righteousness
Denial and betrayal was out of that weakness we have, being ‘poor’ in being righteous.
(looking at 3 ‘poor’ characters: the standards of ‘poor’/standard of ‘rich’)

-Judas’s Betrayal
Matthew 26:15: and said “What are you willing to give me if I deliver Him to you? And they counted out to him thirty pieces of silver. (Zech 11:12And I said unto them, If ye think good, give me my price; and if not, forbear). So they weighed for my price thirty pieces of silver.
Matthew 26:49: Immediately he went up to Jesus and said, “Greetings, Rabbi!” and kissed Him. (Judas Iscariot stalked the night in the devil’s footsteps and appeared before the Lord with his accomplices, and arrested him).
Return to 26:15 On the surface, Judas betrayed Jesus for monetary benefits, so he wants to fill ‘a lack’ in the monetary sense, but on a deeper level, he was ‘poor’ in being righteous. In fact, He was very ‘poor’ as He has allowed Satan's entry his life. Luke has already offered the illustration of the Gerasene man (8:26-39)-demonized man, who wants nothing to do with Jesus.

Finally he gives the blood money back to Caiaphas and pleads for Jesus’s release. But even then he can’t accept responsibility for his betrayal which led to his tragic passage (hanged himself)

-Denial of Jesus by Peter

:Matthew 26:75 And Peter remembered the word of Jesus who had said to him, “Before the rooster crows, you will deny Me three times.
: Obvious parallel to Judas is Peter, who also betrays Jesus during the trial with Caiaphas, by denying that he even knows Him when some threatening bystanders. Peter’s denial came out of his weakness. He was surprised into it in a moment of confusion when his whole world was crumbling. He didn’t nurse it and coddle it and prepare for it as Judas had done. He just fell into it. But eventually Peter was able to recover unlike Judas.

Woman who poured the alabaster flask of fragrant oil on Jesus’s head.
Matthew 26:11 “For you have the poor with you always, but Me you do not have always.
Deut 15:11For the poor will never cease from the land; therefore I command you, saying, 'You shall open your hand wide to your brother, to your poor and you’re needy, in your land.'
Christ’s self-sacrifice provided the “bread of life” (John 6:35) that would relieve the spiritual famine created by original sin.

So you may ask: if Peter is ‘poorer’ or Judas? In fact, everyone can be Judas, and likewise everybody can be Peter. Peter’s denial was as heart-wrenching for Peter as Judas’s was for Judas. Good /Bad Guilt: Peter probably wept for that denial every day for the rest of his life. But Peter used it as a springboard to grow in love and trust. It taught him that he was weak, and he accepted the lesson, along with Christ’s forgiveness. Judas didn’t.

Without Resistance, He made himself ‘poor’

Without defending
Jesus offers no resistance when the multitudes seized Him, because He knows that defending Himself will place one out of God’s defense and put trust on ourselves.
Luke 6:29 To him who strikes you on the one cheek, offer the other also. And from him who takes away your cloak, do not withhold your tunic either.

Without words
Matthew 26:63 But Jesus kept silent. And the high priest answered and said to Him, "I put You under oath by the living God: Tell us if You are the Christ, the Son of God!"
Isaiah 53:7 He was oppressed and He was afflicted, Yet He opened not His mouth; He was led as a lamb to the slaughter, And as a sheep before its shearers is silent, So He opened not His mouth.
-High priests tore his clothes, ppl spat Him in the face and beat Him.-Roman soldiers stripped him, put a crown of thorns, spat at Him, and mocked Him.
-Gave him sour wine mingled with gall to drink.
The trial exposed a pitiless show of Jewish malice against one who was oppressed and afflicted. At Calvary, Jesus was fastened with nails and ropes onto the beam and lifted on to a post. Among those who looked on His crucifixion was His mother, disciples, the Jewish leaders, accusers, Roman soldiers and 2 criminals likewise crucified. Soldiers gambled for his torn garments. He replaced God in the very form of a servant, accepted human condition without protest. But unlike Peter and Judas, He was ‘poor’ physically for the richness that is to come in the resurrection.
Isaiah 53:4-5 Surely He has borne our griefs And carried our sorrows; Yet we esteemed Him stricken, Smitten by God, and afflicted.
It is God’s will that Truth was hidden from them 1 Corinthians 2: 8which none of the rulers of this age knew; for had they known, they would not have crucified the Lord of glory. God had clear view of the cross, and the person hung there hopelessly and lifelessly, all the works and thoughts of evil men Jesus bore it on the cross. He was a scapegoat for the community of mankind, God made him who had no sin to be sin for us so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

The Richness of His Glory

Like an unsurprising tragedy, a glory revealed in the Scriptures, and from His glory comes a love that comes so freely and richly, a richness of eternal implications.

The promise of His ascension
John 11:25 For Jesus said, ‘Jesus said to her, "I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in Me, though he may die, he shall live. The resurrection is the union of the body n the soul.

The rich truth is that His resurrection was that of revelation.
Matthew 27:63 Saying, Sir, we remember that that deceiver said, while he was yet alive, After three days I will rise again.
The Scriptures needed to be fulfilled and many prophecies culminated to reveal that Christ will pour out his life onto death. The ascension, As He blessed the people and indeed “into heaven and sat at the right hand of God” (Mathew 26:64) It held the promise of his imminent return. When He returns, the living and dead will be raised. And in this mystery where only God knows when will an apocalyptic episode to herald the eschatogical age.

The Great Commission to be ushered after the ascension
Matthew 28:18-20 And Jesus came and spoke to them, saying, "All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age." Amen.
Matthew 27:63 Saying, Sir, we remember that that deceiver said, while he was yet alive, After three days I will rise again.
Matthew 26:35 Then they crucified Him, and divided His garments, casting lots, that it might be fulfilled which was spoken by the prophet: "They divided My garments among them, And for My clothing they cast lots."

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

the week past draining me out ... by the misunderstanding that troubled me for a week. I am so busy with work that I seriously have no time to blog..


Lord, but I know you are with me in fellowship! I look to U, all the time!

Thank Samuel for blessing me with "Abraham's Journet to Christ" and me getting the scholarship.

But.. I still do not want to be misunderstood!

Nat

Saturday, January 14, 2006


i like this picture =0)

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Matthew 21-22

The Wrath Of God
1. Man's Resistance
We have a God of emotions, he will reveal His wrath at His timing.
-Jesus Cleanses The Temple
:And Jesus entered the temple and drove out all those who were buying and selling in the temple, and overturned the tables of the money changers and the seats of those who were selling doves.
:"My house shall be called a house of prayer"
: When Jesus found that the temple is turned into a market for cattle, things used in sacrifices, and occupied by money changers, He drove them out of the place.
-Wither Of the Fig Tree
:"let no fruit grow on you ever again"
: represents the state of the hypocrites. For those who profess religion, they ought to show it.The power of God cannot be undermined, He will eventually judge mankind and punish wickedness. God came to seek fruit, yet find leaves only. Since the timing for pouring out the wrath hasnt come, Jesus made the curse rest on a tree, warning on a tree reflects God's rejection of Israel. The next morning, Peter saw it withered completely from roots upwards and totally dried up-blindness and hardness had grown upon the people.
2. Man's reluctance
His Authority is Questioned even when He has revealed His wrath, and showed His prowess.
:The Pharisees Questioned Jesus
: Jesus spoke parables that give reproof and speak plainly to the offenders. Yet they are non-repentant and sought a life much of themselves than of God.
-Parable of The Wicked Vinedressers
:sets forth the sin and ruin of the Jewish nation and is spoken to caution all that enjoys the privilege of the outward church.
: The chief priests and the elders were the builders of the vineyard, yet they will not admit his doctrine and treated him as a despised stone-Christ compared to a stone: examples
-"Is it lawful to pay taxes to Caesar?"
:Lesson learnt: The unbelief of sinners will be their ruin.
3. Man's rejection
He is continually rejected by His people, yet He continued to love them.
The Wedding Feast
:No doubt we need to be prepared for the scrutiny on the day we meet the bridegroom. We need to cultivate that Christian temper of mind, who live by faith in Him and to wear that wedding garment, with the imputed righteousness of Christ and the sanctification of the Spirit.
: We will be taken away of we do not walk worthy of Him.
:Underlying this is the bond of perfection, His love which is the greatest commandemntas He reproves His adversaries and is the sum of all commands of the first table . He wants our hearts to be formed by as a mould.
Let us reflect the times, we have been resistant to Him, doing things against Him, and walking on perverse ways, undermining His wrath. The moments we were reluctant to be humbled before Him, to depend on our own intelligence as we live in this world. Not desiring to suffer for a short while to achieve the long term goal. When we have a corrupted self love, which is the root of greatest sins.When we are short-sighted, and look at what is adequate and comfortable, and what benefits us for the present. The times we chose to justify ourselves with the world, when we would rather not be wronged, and not confront our fellow brothers and sisters when they sin against us and God. When we have forgotten and rejected His love blatently, have we ever been concerned with His HeartBeat?
-Bible Study : 15min preaching for Sunday =)

Saturday, January 07, 2006

New Year Resolutions that come a tad late

Yesterday was a free day for me. No school. I woke up and felt so much better. I think antibiotics are so cool. I should have seen the doc earlier, keke. Anyway, I woke up and settled some work. The past week has been blurry cos I just was'nt feeling well enough for anything. And it is terrible to start school in that manner. Now I am getting back on track which is Good. So I went out with Li Kai to city hall, and we look really intimidating with a guitar slung across our backs each , walking in the heart of the city.. It was the first time I went to the guitar shops at peninsula shopping center.. still zero knowledge of guitar, maybe I will start to like it..so we parted for our cg at around 5pm.
School is harassing me, I have a paper to submit next week so I am seriously just jotting down these thoughts .. I led worship at cg last night too, in Jiamin's hse, a very secluded part of Singapore at Boon Lay. Set new year resolutions for this year and I must ACHIEVE THEM.

1. serve in a particular ministry in church, either MUSIC or DANCE

2. serve more in cg

3. balance between school, frens, family and church

4. Meet a right guy (This is an additional one that I did not share in cg ^_^)

I want to grow more like Jesus this year by reading more of His word. Attend bible studies this year on a regular basis.

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

5th Jan 2006 OPENING: STAND BEHIND THE YELLOW LINE Exhibition


STAND BEHIND THE YELLOW LINE

STAND BEHIND THE YELLOW LINE is an installation-based exhibition initiated by a group of young artists to push forward challenging ideas on a more serious and engaging note. The five artists decide to find new meanings to this simple transitional instruction. Experienced by millions of commuters traveling by the Mass Rapid Transit day after day, the statement becomes almost an inevitable audio disturbance that would plague them, resulting in a kind of banality often reflected in their mundane lives.

STAND BEHIND THE YELLOW LINE serves as a faculty for thought provocation, which could be rational sensibility or emotional celebration in an artist’s affective domain. As a brief interlude of life, “For your own safety, please stand behind the yellow line” is a very reasonable and day-to day stuff one may hear everyday. Today, the artists shuffled a step back or two from the yellow line to view it all in their own perspective: a culmination of rules and regulations, limitations and divide, security and safety, the extremes of power and control, duality in a purpose, in their selected contexts, are some of the issues highlighted and addressed.

As such, through experiences, explorations and experimentations, each artist has developed their own interpretations in their indefinite search for the profanity of the theme STAND BEHIND THE YELLOW LINE. As if each creation were a ritual and metaphysical interaction between the medium and artist, and perhaps, a synthesis of them both, the artists wish to captivate their viewers on a personal level that reaches beyond a superficial interaction.

On a more serious note, the issues brought forward in STAND BEHIND THE YELLOW LINE hopes to explore the connotation of politics and social systems brought about by the rapid change of modernization and globalization. More than just an instruction, warning commuters of danger, this simple notion of the phrase hopes to evoke a deeper insight and understanding affecting our daily lives, in our pursuit for worldly material and wealth: issues that would not be thought, let alone try to resolve or ponder, while standing behind the yellow line.

The exhibition opens at UTTERLY ART Gallery on 5 Jan 2006, Thursday, 7:00p.m.
208 South Bridge Road #02-01 Singapore 058757. [Mon – Sat 11:30 am – 8:00 pm; Sun 12:00 – 5:30 pm]
Till 15 Jan 2006. Closed on 10 Jan 2006 (Public Holiday)

tell the world Jesus lives

I just came back from school and am in tears. There is a lot of work to be done in this new term and I think I am not measuring up to them. I love to write. It is like having a conversation with God whenever I write. I can pour out anything and not be ashamed too. This year has begun with not any concrete resolutions. In fact, tomorrow's exhibition at Utterly Art is a fulfillment of last year’s resolution. How amusing. Sometimes, I am just so tired of being good. Being a Christian can be pretty tough at times, especially when I don’t want to forgive and don’t want to be nice.. but eventually I will relent when I think of the Cross. The Cross weighs down heavy on me, shaping me daily but there is just the fleshly me to be upset, angry and bitter with some people. ..I have big plans for my life, just don’t know when I can put them into order, into practical actions. I feel like I am slowly walking into a dense fog, almost losing direction, dropping the compass of life right now. On the other hand, there is a bright blinding light that is beckoning to its side and I am still wondering if I am going to step foot towards there. I am physically unwell, have been coughing since the busy crunching Christmas.. and school has started, everything else has activated for me. And God is hard-wiring into the fiber of my being.. some things.. almost indescribable. I need to pray more, to seek more of Him, to magnify the radiance of His splendor and to demonstrate His love. Though there will be Peace, there are upsets, pain, difficulties, and even darkness in this process, but I want to be sure that I want to go through this spiritual transformation. I want to be assured in Him alone. I want to remove all the imaginations I have towards how Man perceives me. I must have been thinking and feeling too much, that is why I am having so much of fatigue. I just want to cruise through this short life, that is transient as a shadow.. with Him alone. Won’t you come into me once again, Holy Spirit? Stop my restless seeking, those motions without directions, actions without reason…

Tuesday, January 03, 2006


me in my most normal with li kai

Sunday, January 01, 2006


and we won the best dressed geeks =)

buddy james and i--super geek ..

geek girls rock!

me and keith.. i still have friends despite being so socially challenged!


Bukit Batok girls publicity pic 2

the Bukit Batok Girls publicity pic 1


glam girl janice and me

311205: Young adults countdown party: geeks and glams in the cg


getting ready to join the class of GEEKS 2006: me, daniel, trish