Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Sunday, February 25, 2007

Resting in ur new identity

Adolescent age only signifies a beginning of an identity crisis, but it does not stop there.
What is your identity? The way you think about yourself is prophetic as it has a self-fulfilling tendency. Drop those inchoate perceptions of yourself today as you start to find rest in your new identity.

“For as he thinks in his heart, so is he.” Proverbs 23:7

Your old identity

Our old identity is attributed very much to Popularity, Performance, Possessions, and Power.

Popularity: We tend to build our identity from people’s expectations of us. The media lie causes celebrities like Britney Spears to dispose her identity, and change it to the whim and fancy of the bunfighting mass.
Performance: We seem to think we are what we do. Our jobs, our achievements, are the labels we incessantly attach to ourselves to build that self-worth. But the true value lies in what we are and not what we do. A change of jobs or living environment do not change who we are.
Posssessions: Obsession with material acquisitions is the perpetual illness. The proverbial “the more I have, the better I am” is not true if we are determined to have an own identity.
Power: Power does not corrupt. The truth is, our nature is corrupted by sin in the first place. So, a little power makes the corruption of the soul even more obvious. We weigh power as a measure of how much people will love, revere and acknowledge our existence.

Your new identity

You are God’s creation

“So God created man in his own image,
in the image of God he created him;
male and female he created them.” Genesis 1:27

It is written in poetry instead of a narrative method. Because poetry is a language of intimacy and love, God chosen to write this verse this way to express that personal relationship He yearns to have with us. We are the apex of God’s creation and He takes a personal interest in our lives.

You are God’s child

“For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love 5he[a] predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will—” Ephesians 1:4-5

This identity of being a child of God is not what we should trade for the filth of the world. When we start to fill our minds with lies of Satan, we prostituted this uniqueness that God wants to give to us as His child. Sin is the only thing that separates us from God. So many times when we are ‘lost’, it is often the result of penetrating sin in our lives. We all know that God loves us, but God does not necessarily like (‘like’ is a measure of preference) us. We need to live a life so that God can continue to delight in us.

You are God’s construction

“Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling,” Philippians 2:12

We are all God’s works in progress. The love of Christ is radically different from the love defined in the world. God’s love is done on the cross, “it is finished”, according to Jesus’s words. But the world requires work for rewards, it is a ‘to do’ kind of love. You need to work for what you want. But God has already worked his salvation in us. While he continues to work in us, we work out our salvation with fear and trembling each day. God is the architect of our souls, we must have full confidence that He can bring His work in us to completion one day.

Lastly, what we think of ourselves should be what God thinks of us. Find rest in your new identity today!

Thursday, February 22, 2007

for K

Forgotten reflection

The mirror reflects a life lived wrong
Forgotten a face it once belonged

Limping, a thumbtack on the broken toe
Failing, bruises on the tear-washed knees
Losing, fiery darts into the hollow soul

Broken mirror shards a life tortured
Forgotten a heart it once butchered --

powerless agonised sobs
insanity dripping on the grip of death

Monday, February 19, 2007

courage to believe

Tanya Cartels slept with a mind going not from A-Z last night. C-B, E-A, then C-B again. They kept rewinding and rewinding in a reel-like motion of a film, she could not sleep anymore. Searching amongst the heaps of books and papers obscuring the ashtray in the dark corner of her room, she grabbed the half-smoked cigarette and pursed her lips against the tobacco stick. She sucked hard. Her one hand was scribbling vigorously on that notepad against the torment of her mind. The flicks of memories hit her mind continuously as she flicked the ashes off the stick between her long fingers. The scribbles on the notepad had become to her, the scars on her heart. Tears started to flood her eyes and streamed down against her cheekbones, endlessly down her neck, onto her flimsy satin top. She sucked hard again, this time, it choked her throat so much that her breath turned congested with tears. She pulled her ruffled hair away from her face and plunged backwards into the mess again. If only it could be flung out of the window, she would not need the courage to believe. The courage to believe, she would not be hurt ever again.

Friday, February 16, 2007

From left: me, jennifer, jonathan, ernest and meishan.
BAART (2006 dip crossovers) going
strong la !

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

From left of this pic u get: danny, abelyn, aisha, zakiah, me,
elyse, abbas, sri and alen (lay leng not in pic)

Valentine's Day Special From Somebody and I

Can you ever put a price to love?

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”
1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Valentine’s Day. The past two years of Valentine’s Day.

This year my Valentine’s Day, is wholly different. On a day like this, some people are reminded of thinking when their love will arrive at their doorstep. For some, it is a grandiose occasion that expends their one year of savings. And for some, it is another working day, like each day that hutters past the eyelid. Whatever it may be, the noble reason behind Valentine’s Day is that it brings people together in love. Everyone needs love; Somebody needs love; the ill world needs love.

This year my Valentine’s Day, is wholly different. Somebody and I in Sentosa, a dinner at Sakae, an exchange of gifts, a walk to the island, a little stroll back to mainland. Even if this is sounding like an ordinary date, the memories that were stitched that night (13/02/07) are extravagantly worth treasuring. More important to me, is the intensity of love this time. The great love from the heavens, through my heart, to Somebody’s heart.

This year my Valentine’s Day, is wholly different. I found a love that needs no hypocrisy, no disturbed imagination, no mental anxiety and no ugly quarrels. But a love that God is nurturing. The love that Somebody showers on me runs from God’s wellspring of joy, love and peace. And to God, I am so thankful at this great gift He has given. My heart rejoices. My smile is cheerful. I am very happy.

Can you ever put a price to love?

Friday, February 09, 2007

Thursday, February 08, 2007

the world is so complicated, my mind must be so simple

A little on the show at Utterly Art..

“It’s not all lovey-dovey romance but this exhibition on relationships (or lack of them) stem from memories, longing, desire and charged interactions. We view Aiman Hakim’s reminiscences of past moments through his paintings of polaroids, Genevieve Chua’s portrayal of highly-charged juxtapositions in pencil drawings and Nicholas Chai’s misty idealizations of objects of desire in paint which simultaneously evoke longing and loneliness…”

after two days of void in my brush with food poisoning, bye bye chemical liquids, plastic capsules and pukes…headed to town with Edwin today at around 5.. got my book at MPH, deposited some cash.. and went to utterly art. Finally got to see aiman after such a long time.. everything looks good, smells nice.. at least my break from the outside world is still recoverable. I realise being self-absorbed can be a decapitating disease, it just leaves you emaciated from the fresh loves and juices from the world. Not that I embrace it, but it does puts me on what I call the gay gear. Haven’t touched base with this side of me for some time. Thanks Kenneth for offering me the space to read over there next time as I start on my articles.. that’s a huge fear, but I will still give it a try. First thing first, kick the self-absorbed habit, the world is still revolving alive!

Joined Edwin, Jane and Iven at sll for my dinner and hanged out at HMV in a sleepy mode till somebody came to pick me up from paragon. Some things I learn today: you can find something beautiful in simple things, keep simple. Friends are gems, lost gems you need to find and relish in them all the time.

Wednesday, February 07, 2007


Long time since I saw this old friend of mine...
So we both grew up..
He is now a steward-to-be
as sweet and pretty as ever
i think he misses me too
i always miss his calls like how i miss him in the mind
aiman, love you~ must take good care, don't lose any more weight..
eat more, stay pretty
we will still look as good, cheers =)

070307 LOVEMELTS #1-#4

Sunday, February 04, 2007

only perfect gifts come from God

Check out sakura at clementi woods. Had a hearty meal there with somebody today. I want to pen this down because this is a day to thank God for. Authencity, passion and courage. The essential tools I need. With the miracle hand of our Father..Through the walk in clementi woods. My somebody. I love.

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.
James 1:7

Saturday, February 03, 2007

ennoble the loose-minded lighthouse

you have just taken a pound of my heart away
will you lose it?

night flutters its heartless winds
chagrined the faces

passerbys fade into invisibles
darkness the only anonymous

sounds of nature flung away
meted out a valentine

longing for a sequestered life
legends in a wine

you have just taken a pound of my heart away
please do not lose it

will you still lose it?

Friday, February 02, 2007

private life

Hell broke loose for us today, haven’t spend much time being clowny and corny since school started for us. Maybe the e learning week does help to release some stress from our bodies pelted by all the work from the vicious cycle of school. I enjoyed myself thoroughly with mei, jen, and jon at jurong point kfc after lessons tonight. In fact, today’s art class brought back many fond memories from the past two years of art in NIE. Just listening to the music, viewing the cd sleeves that we have created just makes me miss art making even more. Where has all our zesty creativity gone to? Suppressed treacherously by the amount of academic assignments? Because we are simply wage slaves? Where has the fun of university life gone to? And our crappy jokes. It did revive abit today. I wonder what makes me think of training the monkeys at bukit timah nature reserve to do massage. I do have quite a stretch of imagination I guess. I need that space to dream, a break from reality so that when there sunshine shines upon my ankle, I will be abit happier. A little laughter, I will then not be lost in my writings. A little prayer, I will then have a more cheerful look. And if I can accelerate a bit more of my life, I want to finish my degree, study my masters, get married and have my first kid. Not to say I have so grown used to the fragrance of your body. But I know, my future is secure in His hands which I can only trust.

Thursday, February 01, 2007

An inner resolve can create the sound of faith, like how writings can mute or make the paper alive.