Monday, December 31, 2007

What a grown-up girl like me would say.

For those who do not really know, or might have known, or somewhat guessed, my fav. is Hello Kitty. Hard to believe? Not really. You just got to know me.=)
Real name: Kitty

Birthday: November 1

Birthplace: Suburban London, England

Weight: The same as 3 apples

Likes: Small, cute things. Candy, stars, goldfish, etc.

Kitty is a cheerful, warm-hearted little girl. Baking cookies is her forte, but what she enjoys most is eating a slice of Mama's apple pie! Kitty and her twin sister Mimmy are the best of friends.

The year passed us by in love and trust, one more gorgeous year just at the doorsteps =)From somebody to my hubby-to-be!Thank you Father!
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Posted by Picasa

Alen is my "mistress". I am glad to have a friend like him simply because his heart is genuine towards me. We have walked a year of friendship in NIE and I can count on him to swerve me back on track whenever I seem to choreograph my life wrongly. We can talk about anything and eveything and I can always be myself around him. I do not yet know where God has sent such a great soul to my life but he sure brightens up the gloomy days in school. I enjoy fighting fire with him in school and working hard, paying our dues and laughing our hearts out each time to offset tensions around. We are quite different, but we are doppelgangers for each other. We have a certain passion for life and we think along the same tangent as well. we may look like the oddest pair of friends around but I am sure this frienship can prove itself to the test of time. I cannot ask for more, except that he will be an overcomer, like a river, through hard knocks and crashes that life offers in an oversentimental way. To 2008, we shout a big cheer and may fireworks fall in our way in celebration and joy.

Last days of 2007

East Coast Blading and Essential Brew =)

Thursday, December 27, 2007

Helpless in a Manger

It must be eons since I have written anything that is solid. December came the way I thought it will, and it sure did. It is the most fast-moving month and events crudely overlap and stack bluntly on one another. I hardly can breathe. I hardly can say no to anything. That is the hallmark of what December can be and perhaps, should be. Who really cares about the individual?

If Christmas is really not about partying till one drops, or being totally jolly with grins and smiles, Christmas then, should be one of solitude. That is why the song “Silent Night” is still sung after two decades or more. The image of Jesus as a cute baby in a manger is not just an icon that is pulled out every year’s Christmas. The Nativity story is not just a folktale or legend. Far from the helplessness as a baby in a manger, Jesus is about a man’s death on the cross, and a life resurrected, leaving behind an empty tomb. Jesus is no icon, image or legend, Jesus is about a life given up for our lives. So that we can live today.

So, what I want Christmas to be is to understand more about Jesus in our peace, and use the time given to rest, recuperate, reflect and set the foot right for next year. I cannot imagine partying till the 31st and tada, another year again. I must be drifting off from the crowd, or the norm. But I am happy. Happy to be quiet, happy to be contented.

Here I pray out loud to God my Father. For next year, I want to be freed of my time to do the things I want and need to do. I also want to love more than ever, love difficult people in my life and love unconditionally. Lastly, I want to have more money so that I can give and share more. Sounds generic, but I really want to achieve these next year. It is my last year of school and first year of working fulltime and for a very long time onwards.

Till next year, I will still be with Him =)

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Even if Christmas is not filled with enjoying fun with loved ones, it is never lonely with YOU around. Thank you Father !! =)

Sunday, December 23, 2007

Thursday, December 20, 2007

the year ends

curtains fall.
the year starts to unwind itself like a loose old video tape.
I hardly have time to ponder.
or have some resolutions to frame.
my thoughts splatter like some sour puke.
ready for an extreme hangover the day after.
and the body, aches with short spurts of energy.
exclaiming "All I want for Christmas is You".
my imagination pulls tight like threaded pearls.
but breaks at God's conviction on me.
my song is in tunes of love.
prideful ego like a little child.
I cannot dream anymore.
my eyes need to fix themselves on the lamp's light.
words must not fall.
smiles, are about God's glory
that is not a thousand miles away.
but within me.
the year ends.
the curtains unveiled.
it is here again.

Monday, December 17, 2007

bye maddy- God bless U

151207 Maddy. Sheryl and I

Friday, December 14, 2007

and the joker of the day

131207 NIE meetup @ central

Monday, December 10, 2007

Inflate thy love

weddings are joys that inflate the souls

the chilly wind this christmas must then be well spent

recalling little night talks in our spaces
friendship becomes glistening rich with thoughts abound
doors of a fresh dimension has unshut

somewhat knackered from the car that was raped
where imagination splatters immediately
boosting the little happiness that we jealously guard

chatters and tea complete the prowess of nights
lady sun hides itself too frequently too shy
the earth shakes past the exhausted souls
much of surprise arrives at dawn break

food as the basic enjoyment
presents its multicolored variety
bloody rice cakes warring with smelly tofu like hooded warriors
salted chicken too sexy to resist
all tastes mashing and melting into sweet snow dust

farewell till now

journey can only extend itself so long
but words can afford much

the chilly wind this christmas must then be well spent

Sister's birthday in November

081207 and 091207 Shirley and Cousin Chen Lang's Wedding

071207 Julie's Solo Exhibition at PKW

011207 to 061207 Taiwan trip: Taipei, Taichung, Koahsiung

011207 to 061207 Taiwan trip

Friday, November 30, 2007

Her Voice - Oscar Wilde

The wild bee reels from bough to bough
With his furry coat and his gauzy wing,
Now in a lily-cup, and now
Setting a jacinth bell a-swing,
In his wandering;
Sit closer love: it was here I trow
I made that vow,

Swore that two lives should be like one
As long as the sea-gull loved the sea,
As long as the sunflower sought the sun, -
It shall be, I said, for eternity
'Twixt you and me!

Dear friend, those times are over and done;
Love's web is spun.

Look upward where the poplar trees
Sway and sway in the summer air,
Here in the valley never a breeze
Scatters the thistledown, but there
Great winds blow fair
From the mighty murmuring mystical seas,
And the wave-lashed leas.

Look upward where the white gull screams,
What does it see that we do not see?
Is that a star? or the lamp that gleams
On some outward voyaging argosy, -
Ah! can it be
We have lived our lives in a land of dreams!
How sad it seems.

Sweet, there is nothing left to say
But this, that love is never lost,
Keen winter stabs the breasts of May
Whose crimson roses burst his frost,
Ships tempest-tossed
Will find a harbour in some bay,
And so we may.

And there is nothing left to do
But to kiss once again, and part,
Nay, there is nothing we should rue,
I have my beauty, - you your Art,
Nay, do not start,
One world was not enough for two
Like me and you.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

271107 revision ends here! twss--botak jones

241107 paving the way to my holidays!! at labrador park

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Saturday, November 10, 2007

Do you know?

That English was only introduced to the University level until the 1890s, and found its way into Oxford and Cambridge.

The study of Chaucer and The Canterbury Tales represented the start of English.

English was important to unite the nation and it was for the middle class as they were thought to have a “peculiarly national character”.

Not only does English cultivate a national spirit, English heals class divisions and makes one feel a sense of belonging to the state, since English is the most honest account of life’s history.

Church and English were closely linked- God is at work in history and literature; through these subjects, one learns about God and receives the education that God intended for them.

Influence of British missionaries in India argued against secularism in Indian education. Hence, English in India acquired “surrogate” function (in place of the Church of England) of disseminating tradition and moral values, which one may say that it is “an instrument of colonial control, discipline and national self-definition”.

After World War I, Henry Newbolt’s report on English education was expected to be one to re-make education and correct mistakes in the past, and needed as a keystone for national education.

Teachers are identified to be key people in this process of unifying of classes.

The link between English and religion remains closely-knitted, since English works by emotion and experience to convey timeless truths.

From Henry Newbolt’s report, English is then envisaged as rising above its conditions of production and reception, transcending time.

+++ why am i writing all this? +++
+++ because i think i am like a Phillistine , i am so not a English teacher who can teach such divinity. God, you be the radical remedy! +++

Friday, November 02, 2007

posting this because i am thinkig of julie. for those who have asked me about her. my answer will be- God is with her, she will be blessed.

"I Will Not Leave U Behind, Nat"..sometimes a word of such can be really touching, especially in times of distress.

Happy or sad, God is faithful.

I have been extensively maintaining 2 other blogs: and

For now, you might jusr see less of me here. I probably will return only after my exams.

Changes are too many, feelings are overwhelming, God's love is here for everyone of us.

Thursday, October 25, 2007


why must it be that someone has to be in the wrong?
why must 'not understanding' be known as 'doubting'?
why must a fight always end up being hurt?
why must a quarrel always end up in tears?
why must the word 'sorry' be part of two?
why must you never ever say 'break up'?
why must we suffer for our mistakes?
why must we have a past?
why must we love?
God knows why.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

when the perfect is far from perfect

I am excited the more I think about how near I am to a new year. A new year where I will be back to the marketplace, a new environment and new students. That itself is rewarding enough. And of course a goodbye for now, to my 21 years of studying ( including kindergarten ) I love my students. Everyone of them, even though I have forgotten most of their names, but not the faces. I want to be back to work again. The menace is gone after a week of fire-fighting it, and for now, I shall bury this bad woman into the abyss of darkness before I can think of charity and compassion. My heart is so much lighter now. She was never meant to be in my picture of life.If not for her, life would not be like this now. if not for her. yes. if not for her.we wil not be one piece of funiture short next time! Go away, I so look down on you, Shoo. Misfortunes are aplenty, I hate to agree. There is still one piece of bad news in my heart now. But since God has willed it, God will look to it. I can only trust. I wish I can be a tad more candid about my reality, but my every word is really to protect the ‘plaintiff’ of each life case. So I cannot really reveal what has been going on. Pastor Philip Huan noted 2 checks about discerning God’s will. 1) The Surrender Check , and 2) The Blessing Check. I am thinking about it. How much can a diamond ring be actually a positive impact on others’ lives? It seems so dumb to even think of it as a blessing. Surrender, God- I surrender it to you. Don’t give me a stone. Give me wisdom. I am so warring against the abstract within me.Even my boyfriend has a pseudonym of Somebody.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

i think these 3d nail art are so nice, saw it at ghim moh that day when we went to wash the car with jereme and celest. i hope to have these little sculptures on my little fingers on my little wedding.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

do you know.. ?

Somebody once said that somewhere, someday, someone will come to take away some was taken away from me since yesterday and i am not sure if it will be taken away again.her re-surfacing is a menace, i called the police today.

Monday, October 15, 2007

okay, finally i downgraded my phone to this nokia prism phone 7500. it's simple, i like it. life's meant to be simple.

a sunday- how now shall we live?

today i was so tired on the way to tuition that i probably slept on few peoples' shoulders.

but i really love the sermon today, it speaks to me in a way that cures the itch of the flesh.the 3 foundational stones of lifestyle 1) satisfaction 2) security 3) significance.. we all succumb to these 3 stones for a definition of our identities in this life. to have the greatest satisfaction out of an exotic holiday, out of our luxury cars and branded tai tai handbags.satisfaction even from our own partners and best friends. we save to have security, we invest to have a better future, we earn more so that we can do more than survive. we want to be somebody, at least to be recognised for our little efforts, we want to make a difference and an impact, we want to be loved, we do not want to be written off the track of history.

however, the bible speaks more volumes of truth for these 3 foundational stones; and we all find ourselves trapped in this guilty net of foolishness.

in looking for satisfaction, we cannot be passively consuming without compassion. God champions the poor. God gave us the ability to work not for money, not to impress, but to share.
"He who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with his own hands, that he may have something to share with those in need.' epesians 4:28

in finding security, beware of possessions without peace. when is the last ostentatious good that you bought that you are so worried that you will lose it, scratch it or spoil it? what true value is there in it? that you are hugging it in your dreams and thoughts? it may be a car, a branded something. isnt it, at the end of the day, bought to staisfy some incurable want within, that serves little value ultimately? why build treasures here that you cannot take away?
"Sell your possessions and give to the poor. Provide purses for yourselves that will not wear out, a treasure in heaven that will not be exhausted, where no thief comes near and no moth destroys." luke 12:33

in gaining significance, beware of status without substance. it is self-explanatory. why blow ur head with a hat too big? build urself within and do not seek the temporal.
"He said to them, "You are the ones who justify yourselves in the eyes of men, but God knows your hearts. What is highly valued among men is detestable in God's sight." luke 16:15

this is not said to unpack some truths that slaps one heard to his/her conscience. but to teach us: How now shall we live?
-increase your expenditure much more slowly than your income
-periodically deny yourslef the pleasures of life. (it is not about having deprived lives)
-budget as much for charity as luxury
-make as many mission trips as holiday trips (do something significant in your trips overseas!)
-give recklessly every now and then (don't be a stingy poke)
-maintain a priority relationship with God

where do you find wisdom in your living? is it from intellectual books or peoples' lives? the bible is one book,inspired by GOD, that you can find both intellect and testimonies of peoples' lives -- that is true wisdom within.

Saturday, October 13, 2007

the 30 sentence me

1. My ex is: a quizzy artist

2. I am listening to: vehicles below the block and the outside telly

3. Maybe I should: just sleep forever

4. I love: to be pretty

5. My best friends: are not with me. One in abstract form; one in koahshiung

6. I don’t understand: why

7. I lose: my cool when emotions fill my head

8. People say: i am always in my own world

9. The meaning of my screen name is: nat

10. Love is: sacrifice

11. Somewhere, someone: misses me

12. I will always: want to be pretty and happy

13. Forever: is what i live for

14. I never want to: be treated badly

15. My cell phone is: getting old

16. When I wake in the morning: I wish I can return to my dreams

17. I get annoyed at: hypocrites

18. Parties are: super cool, a time for everything!

19. My dog is: non-existent

20. Kisses are the worst when: you don’t feel like kissing

21. Today I am: at peace

22. Tonight I will: sleep and think of Somebody

23. Tomorrow I will: want to be at peace again

24. I really want: to be happy forever

25. When I looked at myself in the mirror today I: I think I looked better yesterday

26. I will drive my car: when I want to

27. A word that rhymes with “PARK” is: SHARK

28. Bright or Dark Room?: Dark. It makes the ‘lonely’ effect better

29. If I’m alone in a room with two beds, I: will want to roll from one to another

30. The last thing I said to someone was: I thought you were busy?

( from swallowapple's blog: I really like this no-brainer fill-in-the-blanks, it makes me characterise myself better! hee )

Friday, October 12, 2007

the jang-jang week

apart from what the pictures can tell- that i really had an enjoyable week, i did it again this week. my temper flew at a level that cannot be explained plainly by the word "stressed" but i am really pissed with the way things are revolving around. they are always running couter to who i am and what i think and do. the crossver to 25 is not significant without these learnings through time. i have endured the superficiality, the facades of kindness, the unprofessionalism,only to discover some simple life truths: 1) everyone is selfish 2) everyone longs to be loved 3) everyone wants their borthday to be remembered 4) everyone feels the need to have friends. the inanity of life just whimsically made a fool of me.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

111007 tts us.. alen, sri n i: good true frens hard to find!

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

101007 tts my NIE frens

from: mummy , who gave me an umbrella to shield me from wind, rain and shine!

091007 that's jenny and me at BT Batok Coffee Bean. Yes, happy happy birthday to me!

091007 julie and chuyia - the nice gd frens who fill up my voids, and add so much happiness to my life! thanks my ladies!

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

cheerios to a great 25!