To be larger than life

I have not been writing faithfully, almost to a point of losing myself. My days pockmarked with the many stormy emails and a 37.8 degrees fever. Goodness me. Learning so much on how to play this game of human relationships these days. Each time it escalates to a more thrilling level, the more burning coals they heap on the lips.

Met up with kit last night, it is almost like a reunion to recharge myself. Recharging something deep residing in the brain. In face of these testings, resentment, surly and suspicious like a she-bear, must flee from the heart and allow love to enter in. The key thing is to be altogether peaceful against the raging tempests. It is then a matter of self abnegation and not self defense anymore. I must be more than a conqueror no matter how the tough gets going. The higher the fever rises, the higher I soar. What can be more daunting? I will fight till the end of my last breath.

I sang to myself a lullaby early morning and woke up after clocking 4 hours of sleep to cottage- style worship songs. While relishing in the idyllic afternoon, dreaming of how books bind people more than food does, with hands serving the Lord, I shed tears to “Love lifted me”, especially at the words, “sinners ‘come home’, earnestly and tenderly Jesus is waiting”. They simply penetrated into my heart and drew me back once again, engaged to my Father. Thanks to Loyalle and David for the timely sms-es to encourage me too. I shelled out some time to wrap the two books I have been procrastinating to wrap. Edwin’s “Man and Boy” by Tony Parsons and Yongqing’s “Of God and Men” by A.W. Tozer. ( sounds uncanny, but I cannot explain why I had been reading such masculine books) Wrapping books can be such a therapeutic process, like an act of caressing the book with a fond love. Like what David has said, “These books are the collections of peoples’ lives”. I love books and I show favoritism to people who love books.

One last note, from “Of God and Men” by A.W. Tozer, someone wrote the godly Macarius of Optino that his spiritual counsel had been helpful. “This cannot be, “Macarius wrote in reply. “ Only the mistakes are mine. All good advice is the advice of the Spirit of God; His advice that I happen to have heard rightly and to have passed on without distorting it”.

I believe, this settled conviction in him makes an excellent lesson in our lives for us to be nearer to the heritage of joy His bleeding hands have been keeping for us on the cross.

So frank, to be larger than life may well be to engage with life first.