After mulling over things the past few days, I am glad that my bravery pushed me to let it off my chest last night. 13/10/06 God spoke into the depths of my heart and I took a step of intentional faith to entrust my relationship with somebody into the hands of God. One year. One year I have given to God. Irrational behavior breeds irrational fears and anxieties and I was attacked by it the night before. This morning, I woke up with a peace in my heart that assures me that everything is kept beautiful in His hands. As a sidethought, I never had pre-empted that I will do a thing like that to commit a year to God, because I never do believe in what they always call signing a covenant with God because Man always tend to break them in the face of fleshly desires and I am not excluded. Making this decision is radical, and I have to say that part of me is achingly painful. What squeezes me to tears is that there before me is somebody I am seriously in love with yet discipline in God is keeping me away from being with him. However, when I let God take over my mind, what really is one year compared to the entire span of eternity with somebody? I always remember what we have committed ourselves to, to this journey together. And it is really, a journey in continuum. It is going to be good. Good and pleasing to God to fall in love with somebody He has purposed for you, to be in a relationship that glorifies Him, to be married to somebody to fulfill His commandments. Indeed, we will be two lighted matches that join to burn brighter for God. God will honor us when we honor Him. When we say we are following Jesus, we walk behind Him and not before Him with our plans. God’s purpose prevails over the plans in a man’s heart.
Somebody is a great man who has given a big love to me.
I lean to two verses today:
14We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. 15I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 16And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. 17As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. 18I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 20Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it. Romans 7:14-20
"I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
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