I haven't written much these days. The christmas fever has finally ended, am I so glad. I have not felt so worn out before, I think a part of me has just died. Bitten by a bad cough and tired physique is not the best aftertaste of christmas for me.. it has been a bittersweet period for me. I jerked out of bed at 230pm today. Shocked! ! I even foolishly replied li kai's msg "Morning!..." I have no clue that it is already the afternoon. I have still the last lap to leap before 2005 arrives to a closure. I am left with the FYP proposal which is still collecting dust right in a corner of the room which I no longer feel close to.. and staff meetings .. and SBTYL exhibition..well, I have my fears. But i know I will not allow them to master my heart. Healing and restoration is what I desperately seek for now. I have been coughing for abt a week..But I know I am going to be better, so much better. When HE has broken all barriers just to show me his overwhelming grace, how can I remain silent and not declare his wonders to the world? This year's christmas is so different from the last. and I know for sure, this is the kind of christmas I should be celebrating, not denying the true meaning of christmas like the past 2 years. I was touched during worship yesterday, the reassurance of Him upon my soul ..telling me why I am set apart and how I should delight in it. When I fill my mind with the good news of His great joys, i can comprehend his love so much better. How perfect it is just to have Him alone.
sometimes when the heart is prone to wonder and thoughts of romantic, ideal love which seems secular at times, dreaming of him in the most bizarre fantasy-like manner, like the best drama script conjured in a dreamlike setting..in this surreality, i find myself staring into space.. but then i know, at moments like these, I desire for His words to flap in the wind.. so that i can catch them .. Jesus, i need you all the time! when im driving my life into a blizzard, when I am limping on life's path.. i know I am looking only for you alone. thank you so much for braving through those harsh weathers for me.
last night, you answered my prayer, i celebrated christmas with my family, including daddy. You know.. even if it is in the most secular manner, I am certain daddy, like mummy, is going to know YOU soon.
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