Friday, February 17, 2006

No one loves me like you do. Happy Valentine's Day.

Time withers, finally I have completed my ingenious performance art teaching toolkit after so long! I slept at 530 am last night just to bite it through clenching teeth to finish it up. May it win favor in the eyes of Cecily, and I can then budge on with other parts of my FYP. Alright, just to sneak in some time to run through the weeks’ thoughts.

Valentines’ Day is over, and quite unlike last year, I was not busy having a meeting for Fusion Strength over msn. I skipped school and stayed home to finish up some work before I popped over to Jonathan’s place to pick up a CD and to see his condition ( Mr PoXy!) and also to visit little Jon. After that I trolled around Bugis tackling some errands. The streets were unsurprisingly studded with couples and roses, and of course, the endless queues outside the unsuspecting restaurants brazenly lining the streets of Bugis. It is definitely a put-off to have to queue so long for a meal on Valentine’s but well, that is their kind of love which I shall not be skeptical about. I would rather step into an atmosphere suffused with God’s love. As I stand on the cusp of an uneasy past and a future that is exciting and awaiting, I know I have grown up so much.

The next day, I met buddy James for lunch at NTU Students’ Activity Center (my last week in NIE , I cannot explain why there is this little sense of sadness but life must go on, I suppose?) Inexpressible joys to spend time with a buddy, we shared, laughed and joked all the way till evening arrives for us to get to SPC for prayer and praise. My, it was a pretty long day on Wednesday, but I remembered I returned home pleased, and happy to have spent a meaningful time with this brother. Praise God for His peace that boils in the heart all the time.

Yesterday, I was at Studio 19 with Julie doing our performance. Great partnership and collaboration, I feel so geared up for the real thing on the 26-27Th Feb 2006 at Esplanade. God, please be the mediator and come to heal this rift between us =0) I am confident that it is in your Hands, being protected continually. All that I have are yours in the first place. And I truly want to be equaled to the task you have set for me right here, especially in using art for your sake. “But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ" (Philippians 3:4-8).

This brings to mind brother Chin Ian’s sharing of prayer thoughts about us offering our artistic talents to the church. Indeed, it is not over flowingly used, and I pray that God will come to endow us with that true transformation spirit in our art so that we can unfailingly and consistently manifestit in our works of service to the church. It may not even necessarily be about redeeming the arts. Our artistic contributions must unveil windows for God’s love, grace and abundance to enter into the church. And I pray that such enthusiasm and excitement will not die prematurely too for I have experienced too much of such incidents to be now restraining myself from being too wound up.
Questions still hang in the air for the moment as though pending for an answer, and I must keep praying about it. I do not to suffer from those detestable chagrins anymore. Hopefully God-given possibilities can quickly scuttle into the mind soon. God will not leave us to grope for an answer, and I am certain His sovereign plan will be revealed soon. Covenants with God inextricably form the basis of human life and it is fundamentally essential to human endeavor. Though I have never designed any other covenant with God, my relationship with God ultimately still rests upon an underlying covenant. Only when this convenant is functioning healthily, only can I function. Nothing from me, everything from God. I am furnished with life and energy to perform what God wants me to do. As a dependant one, I need Him more than anything.
Was reading Stedman just now, the chapter is about Paul. Leave you with a paragraph from the book, it is totally consuming.
“Have you become a basket case yet? Have you reached that place which Jesus described as "blessed"? "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven." To be "poor in spirit" is to be utterly bankrupt before some demand of life, and then discover it to be a blessing because it forced you to depend wholly upon the Lord at work in you. That is where you learn the truth of the new covenant, and nowhere else. We have much to learn yet about why it works, but you can only find out how it works when you discover it in your own experience”

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