reality or dreams?-needs a touch

I have finished Gibson’s paper.the first lit exam I took in NIE. The first lit exam after 5 years. Danny was saying its like alevels before we went into the exam hall. At that point, I felt alevels was too far away for me to even recall. but I think I did enjoy my study of lit in jc, esp whitby’s paper-pract crit.(cos we dun have to study for it).lit to me has always been a subject, a study that I can dream. Dream and write. My organised daydreaming. A large part of who I am made to be. Yesterday, when I realised that my hand crouched in an awkward cramped position after writing for abt 1 and 1/2hr of the exam, I realise that time has won me over, I’m not that young for writing in an exam condition anymore. I wanted to give it up. But I pulled it through cos I know God wants me not to give up. I felt so depleted after the exams but somehow going to cg re-ignite sthg in me again. Though it is not like I could go home and bash the bed after the exams, I know God preferred me to do His things more than mine. There is always something good about walking in his ways. During worship, I felt sthg stirring. And I prayed very hard for that to go away. When I woke up this morning, I thought I had just woken up from a dream. I wasn’t even sure if I had finished Gibson’s paper or I even went to farmart at all. I remembered I had travelled far with the cold wind slapping on my knees, making me shudder so very often. I remembered the deserted roads and the eerie trees. It really felt as though I had just emerged from some kind of dream. Uncanny. Maybe it’s some kind of insomnia or dementia. I want to reward myself a bit after these exams, but I realise I’m busier after the exams end. It is really not like I can rest. When the demand of duty falls on you, you just cannot afford to rest or let your hair down. And that is kind of unpleasant to the soul, I guess. I’m thankful at least for now, that my prayers are answered, that fear has gone away. That larger fear needs to go too. It feels good when your student tells you she will pray for you, isn’t it? I’m very happy that they are growing in love with Christ. Chua msg-ed me last night to tell me good job for the game, but I really want to say that the game came in a split second when I was dreaming. Something is wrong, my dreams are transmogrifying into reality. Hope it doesn’t give me bad premonitions one day. Somebody I don’t want to lose.