Waking up to a wet morning again, and expecting a scorching hot day to follow, Natasha has become the weather. So very unpredictable these days. Stop it , natasha. Stop whining about life, won't you? Just grow up and grow out of it, won't you? You are not the queen of the world, mind you. You got to learn anyhow. Chew it, swallow it, and everything is gonna be alright. The world does not revolve around you.
Finally managed to call Joanna last night. All of a sudden, she was so near, so close again. She is more than just a phonecall away. It just brought me back to the times when she is so reachable, so tangible, and so mine, when I can cry to her when I am broken, pour out all that I am going through. My perfect listener, my perfect help, my perfect best friend.The emotions of missing her are flooding me more than before these days. I resolute to be more than a best friend to her from now on. Her life is such a comfort to me. It makes me more assured that of all these predicaments, there will be a sunny side up. No matter how the winds of life may change, I still will find the peace that is going to reign in my heart. I just need that very emancipation now, I reckon.
Of everything, I am more convinced each day why I am not opening doors. There is nothing to feel sorry about, nothing to lament, nor to be lambasted by. The innate reasons are clear. My past relationship is not over yet. It is still alive in the veins. I still dream of him, good or bad ones. So, having not passed this hurdle, how can I move on? Furthermore, I need to rest. I am too tried. Too choked by the fumes of THE romantic love. I am a dumbass at relationships, remember? For now, my naivety says I am rejoicing in where I am now. I am peeved by those people who are having these ill, disgusting intentions about me, stop trying to pretend to know me, to claim you love me, I am shutting doors, I did not make an abstinent convenant for nothing. And so it is, stop bugging me, please.
rattled a tad too much today...
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